Evercool Buffalo Heatpipe CPU cooler

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Through what some may consider nefarious means, I have acquired an Evercool Buffalo Heatpipe CPU cooler.

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As a consumer you are likely most concerned with the cooling performance of the device itself. As such, most reviews disregard the
retail box entirely. For the ‘Buffalo Heatpipe CPU Cooler’ this is a terrible shame as the box is itself well worth the money I
paid for it.

The box is primarily cardboard with a gloss black colour scheme. As measured, the exterior dimensions
were 4.1805 inches deep, 5.9675 inches wide and between 6.3650 and 6.5155 inches tall depending on how tightly the lid was
closed. The thickness of the cardboard raged from 0.0770 and 0.0785 inches thick depending on where it was measured.

The base of the box contains no imagery or information – it is simply an over-under interlocking pattern of cardboard likely
designed to add strength to the box. Similarly the left hand side of the box (when viewed from the front) proved reasonably
unremarkable. The information provided is highly accurate – it amounts to a list of compatible processors and a complete
installation guide.

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The installation guide in fact is one of the best I have seen for a piece of PC hardware. I appreciated the thoroughness of
the description of all five steps. It begins a step earlier than most by reminding me to first remove the OEM heat sink. I for
one cannot count the hours I have spent trying to install heat sinks to no avail only to realize I have forgotten to remove
the original.

The second reminds me to apply the appropriate amount of thermal grease. As much fun as it may be
to apply the inappropriate amount of grease, you should remember that this can be illegal in some jurisdictions.

The third and fourth steps are to aim the retention pins and THEN push them into the motherboard. Again I don’t care to
count how many motherboards I have punctured by inadvertently reversing these steps.

Arguably the most important
tidbit on the entire box is the second half of the fifth step. The first half reminds me to connect the power cable. The
second half reminds me that I am now finished the installation. This is where Evercool places itself head and shoulders
above other manufacturers. This level of attention to detail shows exactly the level of respect they have for their customers.

The lid is comprised of three cardboard flaps, the top most of which has printed on it the company logo and website.
Like the lid, the front and rear panels also have an image of the corporate logo (this time without the corporate website),
the product name, and an image of the device. Curiously though, yellow text (0.125″ tall, 0.150″ tall including shading) proclaims

“THE BUFFALO WILL SHOW YOU EXTREME PERFORMANCE!!”

As of slightly over 13 months, the device itself has not
demonstrated anything of its own accord much less extreme performance. So far it has just sat on my desk, politely obeying the laws
of physics. I may not have given it long enough – it could be biding its time.

It could also be the case Evercool never
actually intended the device to demonstrate anything of its own accord. By that statement, the good people of Evercool could also
have meant that a member of the bison genus will come to me and demonstrate extreme performance. As of publication, no real buffalo
or any token member of the bison genus (any of whom I would consider a buffalo for testing purposes) has come to me. Though if one
were to, his arrival in and of itself would constitute an act of extreme performance, in my opinion. This is of course given that
he would need to cross at least two mountain ranges to do so. As such, I will grant Evercool that a bison could still be on its
way.

I have yet to determine what the second exclamation mark at the end of the statement is for. While I have
questioned Evercool about this, they have not returned my phone calls as of publication. I am beginning to have my suspicions
that it may be unwarranted.

The right hand panel, as viewed from the front, has an image of the product logo, a
list of features, and a list of ‘specifspeons’.

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The features list reads as follows:

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– Compatible for all kinds of high-end CPU version.
– Dual [symbol that appears to be the lowercase Greek letter phi] 6 heat
pipe cooler with high thermal conductive technology and special welding techniques enable seamless connections between fins and pipes.

I have no idea what a phi six heat pipe is but I hope it is something nice. The “special welding techniques” used seem
to bear a strong resemblance to the loose contact fitting used by all heat pipe heat sinks. I managed to confirm this by sliding the
bottom fin down the heat pipe slightly to reveal no fusion bond or thermal grease. In fact no mechanical connection technique was
evident on inspection. The ‘special welding technique’ used appears to involve no actual welding. This fact guarantees seamless
construction.

– By using 10 cm fan with more strong air flow and quiet.

It’s good to see this – not enough
manufactures are including ‘more strong’ airflow in their fans. After installing the device I learned the amount of ‘more quiet’ they
added was inadequate. From a strictly qualitative standpoint, it appeared as though both AMD and Intel had added considerably more
‘more quiet’ to the stock coolers included with the processors.

– Bullfight design to make it unique and characteristic.

Yet another point of excellence from Evercool. This may be the only product ever produced to include ‘buffalo’ in the name
AND use a bullfight in its logo.

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This panel also includes a list of the ‘Specifspeons’. The speed is rated at 1800 RPM. Fortunately I have a lathe and can test the
veracity of this claim. When I rotated the heatpipe unit in my lathe at 1800 RPM it caused severe vibrations. While the device survived,
and a considerable amount of air passed the fins, I would not recommend spinning the cooler at this speed for an extended period of time.
Before attempting this you should be sure to take adequate safety precautions The rest Specifspeons proved reasonably accurate to within
an acceptable error range.

As a computer component containing device the Buffalo heat pipe CPU cooler box performed adequately. It did store its contents
safely until their arrival. Where this box truly stands out is as an ‘Object d’Art’. Evercool’s avant disregard for conventional
laws of spelling, grammar, physics, factual accuracy and logic places it in a realm of modern art few corporations, or even artists,
have tread. I refer here particularly to the use of a bullfight logo on a product named ‘Buffalo’. I find the subtlety of this
dissonance a refreshing change from conventional post modernist works normally designed to shock the audience. I must applaud
their intrepid efforts to boldly buck this trend and bring a ‘back to basics’ post modernist piece directly to the masses.

Ian Anderson

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