Dam, that was easy! Live Chat. Waived restocking fee and sent me a UPS label.
Niiiiiiiiice! New Egg rawwwwwkz! (and not just because I get stuff from them the next day either heheh)
Took me 4 sentences with "inconvenienced", "long time customer" and "DOA" thrown in hehe.
Now THAT'S customer service. If only it were always that easy with everyone else.