because it had a gig of ram.
Don't get caught in that trap. The 9400GT can't efficiently use that much RAM, the 1GB is only on there because n00bs often think that more VRAM=better. It's a slow GPU, more RAM isn't going to make it faster, and could potentially even hurt performance just becausethe card can't utulize it very well. There's no single answer to how much VRAM is enough, since it depends on the design of the GPU and memory interface, but the 512MB found on most cards is plenty for most purposes.
You say you need something you can upgrade for many years, well that's not really gonna happen with a Socket 775 system. That platform is going to be discontinued within the next couple years, in favor of the new Core i7 and upcoming i5.
Not that it's really a problem... a good Core2 system will last you a few years if you don't need the latest and greatest. For best longevity, maybe try to swing for a
cheap quad core. But, I wouldn't go with DDR3 for it. There's not much benefit in performance, and DDR2 isn't going to disappear from the market immediately. I'd recommend a good DDR2 board and 4GB RAM, something like
this would be a good bet, but there are other good options as well. That would also allow you to overclock in the future for some extra performance, if you become so inclined. Intel boards can't be overclocked.
4GB DDR2 runs <$40, and just 2GB of DDR3 is going to cost about that much.
Dual link DVI is not the same as SLI/Crossfire. Dual link DVI is for support of high resolution monitors, like the 30" monsters. The Intel motherboard you linked
does support Crossfire with ATi cards, but I honestly wouldn't bother with it. It's not really an upgrade path, its only real benefit is for the top-end cards, where the best on the market isn't enough, so you go for multiples.
If you spring for a decent GPU now, then by the time you want to upgrade, a newer-generation single GPU should easily be able to outperform two older cards in Crossfire. Plus there's the fact that, after a couple years, it'll be difficult to find a second card to match your existing one.
And if you don't trust that face, peel off the sticker.