Does this laptop exist?

Must have:
17" Screen.
Intel Atom CPU.
8 hours battery life

Negotiable:
Under 12 lbs
Does not look awkward
DVD drive
Does not burn my lap
Costs under $1000
Stays cool.

Don't care:
Hard drive
RAM
OS

It must have a few of the negotiable things. At least 2 I would say. Ideally the fifth and third. The rest I can live with.

Intel wont let laptop makers make computers with Atom CPU's over 12" So no, you wont find anything like that.

Are you just looking for battery life? What if you got a regular 17" laptop and several (extended) batteries?

only laptop i kno of that will get that much batt life and have a 17inch screen is the macbook pro 17in