help set ram timings

good morning everyone, i have hit a dead end overclocking my e5300 at 270 fsb wall
the memory runs at 720 mhz at that fsb and it makes my ocd senses tingle like hell
here is the riddle.
i have 2 rams both kingston same model one stick 2 gig and one stick 1 gig, both run at 5-5-5-18 @800 mhz
if i only leave the 2 gig stick on, i can up the fsb to 300 and have a nice oc at 3.6 ghz with ram at 800 mhz
but when i set and the second stick in runs at flex mode and drops the oc, i tried setting the ram timmings at 6-8-8-auto
and i was able to up the fsb up to 295 but after some restarts it droped the oc again
can someone tell me what settings may i set to the ram to up the fsb above 270 and not misscariege the ram timings after some restarts
or locate me the problem in some other area like subtimmings, i also uped them all but didnt seem to change anything like setting the trfc from 52 up to 64

Get matching sticks... not sure it's a timings issue but an instability with running mks.ached capacity ram.

This is second hand info from someone who gave me advice , but perhaps having matched sticks (like was already mentioned) would put less stress on the IMC. The context it was given to me in was that if I were to run 8gb in a 4gb x 2 set rather than a 2gb x 4 set I would put less stress on the IMC and have an easier time with my OC. Im certain that bit of knowledge is old hat to most everyone , but it was the first thing that came to mind as I read your post . Hope it helps

yeah i knew that but i thought about asking if someone had any other sollution.
i desided to stay at 270 fsb 3.5 ghz
the ram drops to 720 mhz from 800 but i tightened its timings from 5-5-5-18 to 4-4-4-17 and it got faster than the 800 5-5-5-18 at stock 2.6ghz i red at a russian forum that that kingston memory can go to 4-4-4-12 at 720 with 2 volts rather than the 1.9 stock , i will try that later and post results