Holy crap, Tainted Squirrel, I think I might love you. I went to Staples with the MC screenshot printed out. I spoke to a salesman about PM'ing and he never even heard of MC (even though it's in the D/FW area, like the Staples store is). He said he'll check w/ his manager. He came back a few min. later and he said yes. I got a little excited, but tried to contain myself.
Then I went up to the computer where he rang it up. I gave him the Staples item # that I had from their website (thanks to TS' 1st post). He found it, and sure enough, had a list price of about $600. He said wow, that's a big discount. I asked for quantity 2 and he took my name, address, and ph. # so that Staples could ship it to me. Out the door $512.11 later with the receipt in hand. I'm hoping this does come through and doesn't get canceled by some Internet supervisor who is suspicious of the large discount. The manager asked if he could keep the MC screenshot print out, so I gave it to him.
Fingers crossed that I get this for the stated price. I'll probably then sell one (maybe here or on CL) and upgrade my 770 to the 980. *pray*