Girlfriends and marriage...

So, anyone else done this ? My girlfriend as of late has been bugging me alot about marriage. I don't have a problem with that or the thought of the whole marriage thing. Seems I upset her today. She and I are both Catholic and I told her that I didn't see the use in blowing all kinds of money on a wedding. Usually Catholic = big wedding. I would rather save the money for other bills and what not. OOPS...

Anyone got some comments? =P

This is all new to me and I haven't spoken to anyone in the family about it yet for obvious reasons.


Tim

If this is too of the wall no offense taken if deleted. Can't post under General Discussion yet. =/

Her father should be paying for that nice, big wedding. I believe that's called tradition.

And um about computers... yeah, use them to plan your wedding or find the best caterers or something so this thread stays on topic for the forum its posted in.

oh ya. Think she said all they will probably pay for is the dress. That's all they did for her sister.

Well...aside from the obvious "this doesn't belong here"...

...if memory serves, if she is so bent on having a traditional catholic wedding you can remind her and her family that according to tradition the brides family sports the bill and makes all the plans. By tradition, all you gotta do is buy a tux and show up.

Don't be upset if this thread gets closed or moved...I'm not sure how much wedding advice you want from us.

Breadfan said:

Well...aside from the obvious "this doesn't belong here"...

...if memory serves, if she is so bent on having a traditional catholic wedding you can remind her and her family that according to tradition the brides family sports the bill and makes all the plans. By tradition, all you gotta do is buy a tux and show up.

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Araine23 said:

Her Father should be paying for that nice, big wedding. I believe that's called tradition.

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Exactly right. I actually didn't know this until my g\f told me one day.....I must say it was pleasant news. Still though, marriage is a big deal. I think that you need to sleep on it a few....er.....years...and think about it very thoroughly

jesus said: you shall not find me in the churches of wood and stone, lift a rock and i'll be there, split a piece of wood and you shall find me

so, i think it is alright to seek advice everywhere you can and not go to a "marriage counselor" or some thing like that.

that aside, your biggest concern shouldn't be who's paying the wedding, lighten up. Marriage is for life, that's the whole deal. If you don't want your whole life with one person don't do it. if you don't know if you want it, then you don't want it.

emilio

nerd4life said:

oh ya. Think she said all they will probably pay for is the dress. That's all they did for her sister.

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That alone will halve the bill

Tazon said:

jesus said: you shall not find me in the churches of wood and stone, lift a rock and i'll be there, split a piece of wood and you shall find me

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Where did he say that?

I mean you are talking about Jesus Christ, right? If so I would like to see a verse, refrance, chapter, or book where I can find that quote.....

Nothing personal agansit you or anything.

Tazon said:

jesus said: you shall not find me in the churches of wood and stone, lift a rock and i'll be there, split a piece of wood and you shall find me

so, i think it is alright to seek advice everywhere you can and not go to a "marriage counselor" or some thing like that.

that aside, your biggest concern shouldn't be who's paying the wedding, lighten up. Marriage is for life, that's the whole deal. If you don't want your whole life with one person don't do it. if you don't know if you want it, then you don't want it.

emilio

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Eh? Where in the hoo-hah is that in the Bible?


Your second point on marriage is much better.

If you really love her and she really loves you, then something like how to get married shouldn't interfere with your love.

A skill that is really important in marriage is compramize. And this is the perfect time to practice.

Find a sum of money that you can accept to pay for your marrige, and have her and her family plan the marriage according to that, and whatever they will pay for.

Mabey instead of a big marriage in St. Pats, you will have to settle for a small country chaple and just family and a few friends, and a small reception. To save money, dont serve booze, and say it is so people dont drink and drive. INstead of a limo try to find a friend with a classic type convertable, to wish you away.

eab said:

Where did he say that?

I mean you are talking about Jesus Christ, right? If so I would like to see a verse, refrance, chapter, or book where I can find that quote.....

Nothing personal agansit you or anything.

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Its from the gospel of St. Thomas and isn't in the Bible. It was also mentioned in the movie Stigmata. The Catholic Church refuses to recognize it though because it goes against some of thier beliefs.

when i first read the title of the thread i thought people were going to confess that they have girlfriends and are married.
Been there done that! A few times.

Yep, Kahnza got it...watch the movie Stigmata.

Basically the point was that it defined the "church" and shows that the church is more inside you representing your personal faith and is not represented by the brick/mortar or the church/establishment. Thats why they don't like it...kinda goes against their business plan.

I'm getting amrried in July. My fiance's father is footing the bill for the wedding... let me tell you I'm damn glad I'm not. It's up in the range of 20k right now. And her dress... less than 1k. It might go up to 1k with alterations. Her father gave her the option of having a small wedding, and he would give us the difference in cash to put away until we buy a home(personally I thought that was an excellent idea, and would have gone for it.) but she want the the big wedding... so... we having the big wedding.

9mmCensor is right, if you really want to do this then just say X is how much we can afford for the wedding. If that's not enough then you'll have to wait until we have enough. That's pretty much what I tell my fiance about anything she wants. She just needs a few more lessons in comprimising, as she is a little spoiled(partially my fault, mostly her parents).

If you need to know anything PM me, I'd be more than happy to share my expereince with this so far.

Krieger

eab said:

Where did he say that?

I mean you are talking about Jesus Christ, right? If so I would like to see a verse, refrance, chapter, or book where I can find that quote.....

Nothing personal agansit you or anything.

Click to expand...

i read that and i said to myself where in the bible does he say that? then i saw your post and started cracking up.

requiredtext]you can find many pictures of nice weddings online

A large problem nowdays is that people spend a LOT of money on weddings, instead of paying mortage or investing. What is more important, a single day, or how you financial situation can be for a very long time.

Thats why I would rather opt for a small scale celebration. I don't belong to the church, so that also can cut down on the expenses. A lot of people in Finland just have the mayor wed them.

yes the quote is from the Black Sea Scrolls, the gospel of St. Thomas, don't have it here to give more references. So, it is not in the bible. Before anybody flames this, please remember that the bible was made by men, not apostles, not jesus himself, but by the medieval equivalent of Big Brother or the manipulative government cliche.
yeah it is in the movie stigmata too. i prefer the gospel though.

emilio

PS: RAM CPU, Abit and Asus, XP, Celly, etc. (just keeping it in-topic)

Would've replied earlier. I haven't been able to post. I forgot I changed my email and forgot to verify it again, duh. =P

Thanks alot for the replies guys. Sorry again for the off-topic nature of the subject, I just really wanted to see what some other people thought about the subject. Especially since noone here knows me personally, atleast I don't think so, so I get unbiased opinions to a certain degree.

I know I will marry this girl. The main thing holding me back right now is I'm just out of college and I moved in with my father until I get things settled down and my own place.

Tim

So are you engaged to her? Isn't that like, "staking your claim"?

I got married last summer, and have'nt regretted it for a moment.

My girlfriend first started bringing up the subject years before we actually got engaged, but somehow I allways managed to prospone it. I think it would be a terrible mistake to get married just because one of you wants to do it. Untill you know you actually want to spend the rest of your life with the person, you should'nt even get engaged.

We had a nice wedding in the middle of the nature. It was'nt anything very big, and I prefered it that way. I'm not the kind of guy who enjoys meeting alot of relatives just because we are tied togeather by blood, and that includes my wedding. We did have alot of relatives and old friends that I have'nt seen for a while, but they where mainly closer to our parents.

The people invited to weddings seem to be really tied up in family politics, and that sucks...

We payed for most of the stuff in the wedding, but both of our parents helped out a bit. I personally just wanted to make sure people eat well, and have a good time, other then that I did'nt feel like spending lots of money. My wives parents payed for the rental of the place, and my parents payed for the flowers. We borrowed a beautiful dress that had been used before, and only had to pay for the cleaning...

Anyway, if you don't want a big wedding, you should'nt have to be obliged to have one. If the girl really loves you, she'll settle for something smaller.

You can find a few pics of our wedding here.