Ive never used the built in windows but Ive used the VNC proggie. I was also very interested in that detail, so I hooked up a monitor and watched it when I VNC'd in. If your actively using it, it will suck up resources like no tomorrow. If its minimized, or not in use, 1 to 5% typical, but most of the time very minimal. If not actively being used, i.e. Not actively open, just the program/software running, none as for CPU power. It will suck up very little memory, think on the average it had around 3k memory used. Nothing to worry about.
I cant say for the windows built in stuff, never used it. But I would imagine it wouldnt be too much different overall. So as long as your not actively constantly veiwing the other system, should be minimal usage being used. (Id say an average of maybe 1%.)