Well the problem turned out to be that the ram timings were simply too tight, it had nothing to do with the chipset.
I just needed to loosen them up a little since the mobo decided to run my memory by itself at 5,3,3,2.
Although, the southbridge was still so hot I couldn't touch it, even at just 998 mhz fsb. I ended up finding a "video card cooling kit" that worked perfect. It came with a heatsink for the southbridge, which I stuck on there with thermal tape and now i can touch it and it feels almost room temperature.
Then I took the fan off the video chip cooler and thermal taped it onto my northbridge heatsink so now I have active northbridge cooling. Northbridge coolers with fans cost $30, I bought this for $10 and it came with a heatsink for my southbridge. This way I didn't have to waste the big, giant northbridge heatsink I already had. W00t.