[Sjaak]

I stumbled upon a few fragments of "Lord of teh ringzorz" lately..ive put them altogether and added some parts myself. Found it great fun to read

L0rd of teh Ringz0r

F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng

[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = ****, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "WTF!?"

[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "WTF?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire

[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "WTF?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the crap out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"

[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"

[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "WTF"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "WTF... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Aragorn [flamethorch] nazgul
Aragorn [flamethorch] nazgul
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "

[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! WTF is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "Teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"

[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"
[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "OMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"


[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "Teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "WTF?"
Aragorn: "WTF?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "Even teh ****ing teams!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "WTF?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected

[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "WTFWTF! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"

[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saruman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "1337!"

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ur hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "WTF! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Boromir [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Boromir [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Boromir [broadsword] Uruk Hai
** Uruk Hai boss stumbles over with crossbow
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing camper"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! WTF!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"

[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! WTF! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs noob!"


Teh two T0w3rz

[at teh kings hall]
Gandalf: "I R g4nd4lf teh gr3y"
Teh King: "HAH NOOB you suxorz!"
Gandalf: "WTF?"
**gandalf pours out his staff, a few men come running towards him
Teh King: "pwnz tem!"
Gimli [Fist] Grima Wormtongue
Aragorn [fist] Human
Aragorn [fist] Human
Legolas [elbow] Human
Gimli [shoe] Grima Wormtongue
Gandalf: "HAH! pwn"
**Gandalf votes to kick Saruman from the game
Teh King: "HAR HAR"
**vote failed
Legolas: "h4xed!!"
**Gandalf logged on as admin
**Sarumans IP is banned
Gandalf: "hah, pwned, I R g4nd4lf teh Wh!t3"
Saruman: "sif"

[on the way to helms deep]
Scout: "OMG"
Warg [bite] Scout
Aragorn: "ARRR AMBUSH"
Gimli: "TEAMS FFS"
Legolas [arrow] Warg
Legolas [arrow] Warg
Legolas [arrow] Warg
**Legolas jumps on horse
Gimli: "OMG U R teh 1337"
Human [spear] Warg
Aragorn [broadsword] Warg
Aragorn [spear] Warg
Gimli: "ZOMG"
Aragorn: "HAH, pwned"
Teh King [broadsword] Warg
Warg [sword] Aragorn
Aragorn: "arrr"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Warning: Aragorns ping >200
Aragorn has been kicked from the server
Gimli: "WTF??"

[at helmsdeep]
Teh King: "OMG noobz, ph34r teh walls!"
Uruk Hai: "STFU noob we will pwn joo"
**match has started
human [arrow] Uruk Hai
Uruk Hai: "WTF??"
human: "lolol pwnt!"
human [arrow] Uruk Hai
human [arrow] Uruk Hai
human [arrow] Uruk Hai
Uruk Hai [arrow] human
human: "****n lucky shot!!"
Aragorn: "pwn them with teh elve arrows!!"
elve [arrow] Uruk Hai
elve [arrow] Uruk Hai
elve [arrow] Uruk Hai
elve [arrow] Uruk Hai
elve [arrow] Uruk Hai
Teh King: "hah, noobzorz..we pwn!!"
**Uruk Hai with flaming thorch runs towards the walls
Aragorn: "Legolas, nuke him he got teh flagzorz!"
Legolas [arrow] Uruk Hai
Legolas [arrow] Uruk Hai
Legolas [arrow] Uruk Hai
Legolas: "cheater!!"
Uruk Hai: "hah, pwned!"
The Uruk Hai team scores a point.
Teh King: "OMG!!!"
Aragorn: "FFS!"
Legolas [arrow] Uruk Hai
Legolas [arrow] Uruk Hai
Legolas [shield] Uruk Hai
Legolas: "LOLOL PWN!!"
Gimli: "nah i pwn more!"

[Later on, Gimli sounds teh big horn]
Teh King: "OMG!!"
Uruk Hai: "ph34r us!"
**Gandalf and the riders of Rohan appear
Teh King: "Hah, reinforcements!"
Uruk Hai: "WTF??"
Gandalf: "hah noobz, ph34r me!"
Gandalf [staff] Uruk Hai
Gandalf [horse] Uruk Hai
Rohan Rider [horse] Uruk Hai
Rohan Rider [horse] Uruk Hai
Rohan Rider [horse] Uruk Hai
Rohan Rider [horse] Uruk Hai
**Uruk Hai disconnected
Gandalf: "HAH, We r teh pwn!"

[dicecca112]

please tell me you didn't take the time to make that up yourself

[MEMex]

I had to get the 733t dictionary out for this one

[Sjaak]

Originally Posted by dicecca112

please tell me you didn't take the time to make that up yourself

no..its a collection of loose parts i found. i thought the 1337 language wasnt that hard

[TheGreySpectre]

nice work, but I figured they would have used nub instead of noob

[veryhumid]

hahaha, good post. i am going to save it to a text file. do you know where to find more?

[deathman20]

Man that is sooo old, i wish who ever wrote that one would finish it in the other 2 movies.

[Sjaak]

@veryhumid

I knew a few pages where they posted this stuff so i collected it all and put in the right order. Ill look for more later or write it myself hehe

[DMac]

How long did it take you to type that?

[Sjaak]

read better..i didnt...i just put together all the small bits that i found on the net

[Leviathan41]

Lol, that's some funny stuff! nice job!

[Methical_K]

Originally Posted by Sjaak

Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"

lol, good stuff

[Oni]

That's great!

[Sjaak]

//added two new parts: in teh kings hall and on the way to helms deep