[tom10167]

Kid steals laptop with final on it.

Teacher tells everyone the laptop is being tracked and the kid is going to get caught.

Everyone with an IQ realizes it's impossible and the teacher gets owned, meanwhile the kid still has the test. hahahahhaha

http://webcast.berkeley.edu/courses/...50415&rep=real


"Professor Jasper Rine lectures at UC Berkeley. Recently his laptop was stolen by a thief who apparently was after exam data. Unfortunately for the thief, Professor Rine had some other important data on that laptop. Professor Rine webcasts all of his lectures. He addressed the laptop thief during his webcast of last Friday's Biology 1A lecture, which you can see in its entirety here: http://webcast.berkeley.edu/courses...050415&rep=real
It gets interesting at timecode 48:50. A transcript of Professor Rine's comments follow:"

Originally Posted by Professor Pwned

Thanks Gary. I have a message for one person in this audience - I'm sorry the rest of you have to sit through this. As you know, my computer was stolen in my last lecture. The thief apparently wanted to betray everybody's trust, and was after the exam.

The thief was smart not to plug the computer into the campus network, but the thief was not smart enough to do three things: he was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows. I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.

The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour, there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer went every time that it was turned on.

I'm not particularly concerned about the computer. But the thief, who thought he was only stealing an exam, is presently - we think - is probably still in possession of three kinds of data, any one of which can send this man, this young boy, actually, to federal prison. Not a good place for a young boy to be.

You are in possession of data from a hundred million dollar trial, sponsored by the NIH, for which I'm a consultant. This involves some of the largest companies on the planet, the NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been notified about this problem.

You are in possession of trade secrets from a Fortune 1000 biotech company, the largest one in the country, which I consult for. The Federal Trade Communication is very interested in this. Federal Marshals are the people who handle that.

You are in possession of proprietary data from a pre-public company planning an IPO. The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this and I don't even know what branch of law enforcement they use.

Your academic career is about to come to an end. You are facing very serious charges, with a probability of very serious time. At this point, there's very little that anybody can do for you. One thing that you can do for yourself is to somehow prove that the integrity of the data which you possess has not been corrupted or copied.

Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid, because I am the only person that can tell whether the data that was on that computer are still on that computer. You will have to find a way of hoping that if you've copied anything that you can prove you only have one copy of whatever was made.

I am tied up all this afternoon; I am out of town all of next week. You have until 11:55 to return the computer, and whatever copies you've made, to my office, because I'm the only hope you've got of staying out of deeper trouble than you or any student I've ever known has ever been in.

I apologise to the rest of you for having to bring up this distasteful matter, but I will point out that we have a partial image of this person, we have two eyewitnesses, with the transponder data we're going to get this person."

Professor Pwned, oh that's a good one.

[jack222]

Proffesor "pwned" got more then pwend. He got:

[Ebola]

he was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows. I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.

Admitting to stealing Windows should be enough to get this loser fired. He should be working at Mcdonalds flipping burgers.

[dark_15]

One question...

Why would he keep stuff like that on a laptop?

If I were him, I'd leave the sensitive stuff on a computer that was not connected to the internet in any way... with a removable HDD rack. I'd pull out the HDD when it's not in use and put it in a big safe. O yeah, and I'd also encrypt.

Secondly, why was he using windows?



EDIT: Looks like they've been having problems with stolen laptops:
http://idalert.berkeley.edu/

[jack222]

My science teacher keeps everything on his laptop, external HDD, school pc, pen drive and home pc. So this wouldnt effect him if answers got stolen.

[tom10167]

Oh wait I forgot the follow up article guys, sorry.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/Fin...=692448&page=1

[Aslan]

Originally Posted by dark_15

One question...

Why would he keep stuff like that on a laptop?

If I were him, I'd leave the sensitive stuff on a computer that was not connected to the internet in any way... with a removable HDD rack. I'd pull out the HDD when it's not in use and put it in a big safe. O yeah, and I'd also encrypt.

Agreed, the prof is either bluffing about having all that sensitive material on only that one notebook, or a complete idiot. He's definitely going to get into some trouble with the companies he consults for.

The kid is most likely going to get away with it, but to steal a notebook like that for a copy of the test is very stupid as well; the prof is obviously going to make another test.

[Frodo Baggins]

Jeez. What is his PhD in?

I can't believe he made that speech. I would have trouble keeping a straight face in class. It sounds like something I'd invent as a 12 year old.

[warlock110]

he obviously is bluffing, woot woot, yeah right, tracking down someone isn't that easy, especially if they are on a laptop, there are ways to do it but i'm sure that it's out of his power to try and track down that lappy on campus, if the kids take that thing out of the campus, then it's pretty much over, i'm sure the kid wasn't after the data, he's just after the laptop lol. At any rate there are 2 things that can happen:

1) the kid got scare and throw the laptop into the ocean (yeah professor, nice job scaring the kid)
2) the kid took all the professor advice, and he format the lappy. (yeah professor, nice job on telling him how to pawn you).

[Malpine Walis]

Originally Posted by Professor Pwned

I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.

And out intrepid professor was not smart enough to realize that if his empty threat actually had teeth, the 15 minutes would have begun right after he did the install. Not 15 minutes after the lappy was stolen. Umm what lappy is this that knows when it is stolen and fires off a windows product ID at precisely that moment?

Originally Posted by Professor Pwned

The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour, there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer went every time that it was turned on.

OK so let's ignore the so called transponder for just a sec. What this tells us is that the thief also turned the computer on from several locations around campus in the hour after it was stolen. Do anyone else make it a habit of turning on a computer for a minute or two at a time before moving to a new location?

Now let's get back to the transponder. Does it come on a PC card or is it factory installed? I have to ask because I have always wanted to have aircraft navigation equipment built into my lappy. If the professor has it then it stands to reason that someone sells a lappy that has it.

Originally Posted by Professor Pwned

I'm not particularly concerned about the computer.

And I am not particularly concerned about the exact nature of the data.

Originally Posted by Professor Pwned

Your academic career is about to come to an end. You are facing very serious charges, with a probability of very serious time. At this point, there's very little that anybody can do for you. One thing that you can do for yourself is to somehow prove that the integrity of the data which you possess has not been corrupted or copied.

However, the thief is not the only person who is about to see the end of his academic career. Even assuming the university does nothing to this guy, I would bet that nobody else is going top trust him with “hundred million dollar” data ever again.

Originally Posted by Professor Pwned

Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid, because I am the only person that can tell whether the data that was on that computer are still on that computer. You will have to find a way of hoping that if you've copied anything that you can prove you only have one copy of whatever was made.

This bit is just too good. Let's say just for grins that the thief really is as dumb as the professor obviously thinks. OK now tell me how the hell he could prove that he only has one copy of anything on his computer? By anything, allow me to say that I have P2P software in mind. If he can't account for his collection of Britney Spears videos, how the heck is he going to account for anything else?

[c627627]

...plus: Since when does it take 15 minutes for Microsoft to respond to anything? (That's the true giveaway right there.)

[Seven]

Hah.

That gives me the sort of anti-climatic Looney Toons wind-up right there.

"Why I oughta!....why I oughta!!11111..."

Come on. Obviously, if it was supersensitive information, then he wouldn't be keeping it on a public laptop. They keep "trade secrets" on SUPER protected servers and safes and stuff like that for this exact reason.

7

[Yodums]

Eh, why steal the exam? Wouldn't the prof just make a new one? Well maybe in this case it's kind of different because he's kind of.. special in his own ways.

[Silversinksam]

LOL! As much as I hate Trolls and thieves, this Professor is a dumbass

I hope he recovers his notebook, but I also hope he learns that his students are not idiots.

[Wicked Klown]

Originally Posted by Frodo Baggins

Jeez. What is his PhD in?

I'm guessing he has a PhD in BS. After all everyone knows it takes a whole 30 seconds to change then XP CD code.

[@md0Cer]

Originally Posted by Ebola

Admitting to stealing Windows should be enough to get this loser fired. He should be working at Mcdonalds flipping burgers.

He didn't quite steal it from what I read.

Actually using Windows that way was quite smart. They can tell if it is on multiple computers or not, so he bassically used Microsoft's way to track who is using multiple computers on the same copy of the OS, to track the guy who stole his laptop.

If I had Windows on a computer that got stolen and still had the CD, I would probably try installing it on another computer and do the same thing Professor Pwned did to track that other computer.

[@md0Cer]

Either way, unless they ripped the laptop out of his cold dead fingers, it is his own fault. I would not let my laptop go unattended.

[@md0Cer]

Originally Posted by jack222

Proffesor "pwned" got more then pwend. He got:

Here is another "owned" pic for the professor:



Just imagion it saying "professor pwned" instead of "srt-4 driver."

[Wicked Klown]

OH @mdOCer you linky is broke it says Ichost.

[Wicked Klown]

pw3d