1- yes, you can get lap the Base of that HS, and it will do you good. but be VERY CAREFULL. make sure its FLAT. or you will most likely crack/chip your core
You will want to lap it on a FLAT surface, such as glass. Use a fairly high-grit sand paper to get the nickel plating off, then go lower once you get to the copper. and then make it nice and smooth. But please, make sure its flat. if not, you will be in some big trouble.
Ex. - i lapped mine, and didn't get it 100% flat...Well actually, i ended up making it pretty damn concave, or convest ( i forget which one ) and i didn't realize it because i was in a hurry to test for new temps...,So i put the HS on the Processor, clipped it down. everything was perfectly fine. Well then my PSU bumped the H/S ( crappy case, i have to take the PSU out, to get the HS in and out ). in the process of putting the PSU back in, it bumped the H/S. When that happend, CRACK. I chipped off the bottom left corner of my 2500+ mobile CPU.
Luckely for me, it still works. but i have to use Duct tape to keep the H/S on correctly, so my Computer works. if i take the duct tape off, the HS will want to lean into that chipped area, and it shorts out the CPU, and then my computer won't boot.
From First hand experience, make sure its flat, or you WILL regret ever lapping it. but if you just take your time, Look at it from multiple angles, and everything, you will notice if its flat or not.
2 - No, you don't need the shim. most of us here that has the SI-97 doesn't use it, as we get better temps without it.
3 - If you don't have the pads, use the shim. or you can risk cracking/chipping your core.
Basicly, i said what moto said, but when looking for advice, we all like to here multiple opinions on stuff, even if they are the exact same.