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Once again, i crashed and burned

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Old 05-30-05, 02:07 PM Thread Starter   #1
Sjaak
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Once again, i crashed and burned


This is starting to get repetitive

Just spoke with a girl i like alot...she was at my b-day party last friday and we had great fun...however it turned out to be the standard 'you're a nice guy...*but*..'

This is like the 4th time this is happening to me in a year or so.

No more details, they just hurt. Just wanted to share my pain and agony.

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Old 05-30-05, 02:32 PM   #2
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ive had the "your a nice guy...*but*" speech atleast 5 times. It hurts, especailly when its a close friend that your crushing on. Just move on, and try not to get attached. Ive found that if you dont care, you cant get hurt. keep your head up, the right girl will come along someday, or atleast i keep telling myself that...
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Old 05-30-05, 02:35 PM   #3
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if its a close friend you're crushing on, forget it. You are too deep in the friend's zone.

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Old 05-30-05, 02:37 PM   #4
Daewood
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you know what I always say?

The one that gets rejected the most, leaves with the most phone numbers...

Quote:
if its a close friend you're crushing on, forget it. You are too deep in the friend's zone.
I dont believe that for a second! you just have to let them know that you don't plan on doing anything that will ruin the freindship. I know that works because I am with a girl right now that I was extremely close too and sure we have some relationship problems but us being friends before hand helps us out and just makes us grow closer together.
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Old 05-30-05, 02:44 PM Thread Starter   #5
Sjaak
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SolidxSnake
if its a close friend you're crushing on, forget it. You are too deep in the friend's zone.
I've known her for awhile already, but not as 'good friends'. Her brother was in class with me a few years ago.

Basically, what she said was that she was 'too busy' to have a b/f. She still wants to go to the cinema with me tho, but only as friends.

I always tend to say 'what isn't yet, can still come'.

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Old 05-30-05, 02:46 PM   #6
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there you go man... just keep working on her and win her over.

maybe bring her some chocolates or flowers before your movie? that might show her that your still in to her...

but I can honestly say that I'm not the best at the relationship stuff, but I manage...
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Old 05-30-05, 02:58 PM Thread Starter   #7
Sjaak
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As already said, i have had several cases like this in the past. Things that made me feel bad, things that hurt. Things that make me sit back in my chair, and want to listen to Astronomy (Metallica) or Kryptonite (Three Doors Down), and sip Whisky. Things that leave marks, things that i will remember their context by.

I want to thank everyone here for being supportive and understanding in those times. Not just when some love adventure goes wrong, but also when things happen that i will regret for the rest of my life, and just knowing that this place exists and will continue to, can calm me down



Consider this a big thanks to this community that in times of ache, provides solid backup.

Thanks.

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Old 05-30-05, 03:00 PM   #8
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When the pain of life is great;
When the time for being in love is late;
When you can no longer see the one you admire,
And you can not climb any higher;
That's when you know love hurts.

When you're left all alone in the dark,
And you can no longer see a spark,
When your life seems to be going downhill,
But the love inside remains still,
That's when you know love hurts.

When all you want to do is talk,
But she takes off for a walk,
When you try to call,
But the phone rings off the wall,
That's when you know love hurts.

When your life feels empty,
But the pain inside is plenty,
When you wish you knew why,
But all you can do is cry,
That's when you know just how much, LOVE HURTS.
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Old 05-30-05, 03:10 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjaak
I've known her for awhile already, but not as 'good friends'. Her brother was in class with me a few years ago.

Basically, what she said was that she was 'too busy' to have a b/f. She still wants to go to the cinema with me tho, but only as friends.

I always tend to say 'what isn't yet, can still come'.
I have been friends with my GF before we hooked up, one day I just wrote her a letter telling her how much I love her and then I got the "You are nice but" speach but I didn't give up and kept trying untill she finally gave in
We have been going strong for 5 1/2 years now
So you either give up on this one OR you do the teen movie thing where you try to show her how nice you really are.

Also I think its good keep female friends around, especially going out drinking with them and once you might get lucky and I'm dead serius on this one.

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Old 05-30-05, 03:11 PM   #10
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regret is a refusual to grow, and to learn, no matter how much it hurts, you will still learn, and still grow from each rejection, dont think that its only your failings that are the cuase of rejection, also remember that its a two way street, she might have some issues also

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Old 05-30-05, 04:50 PM   #11
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im sorry for ya man. ive been there and it sucks. whats worse is the "im too busy..." "i dont think i could have a relationship right now" "i cant date friends" but then a few days later... they're with someone... do they not realise its more hurtful to be lied to then just to say "i dont like you that way"

it sucks, but i think im pretty numb to it now... just like ah **** it what does it really matter anyways..... then the people that rejected you come up with sayin "you're so lonely, you need a girlfriend" "heyy no ****! i havnt noticed!" im sorry ill stop this now...

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Old 05-30-05, 05:08 PM   #12
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Lol, I've never gotten rejected like that. The most recent one was when I asked a girl from my gym for her number. She went "Sorry man, NO!". Scared the bejeesus outta me. But I got over it.

Dunno why everybody here is so confident. If I got rejected 5 times in the last year, I'd live the rest of my life out alone, as a paranoid recluse, in the company of many, many cats.

But hey, pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
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Old 05-30-05, 06:16 PM   #13
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i get rejected all the time

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Old 05-30-05, 08:52 PM   #14
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female friends are a tad tricky. i thought this one girl who's practically my sister liked me because i wasn't used to people giving a **** about me. she picked her words carefully when she turned me down. then again, the girl in my avatar became one of my best friends before we started going out. we've been going out for a year and a half. she was the first to make a move though, and if she was waiting for me to make the first move i'd still be single right now. all i can say is, when it happens you'll know.

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Old 05-30-05, 09:33 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daewood
you know what I always say?

The one that gets rejected the most, leaves with the most phone numbers...



I dont believe that for a second! you just have to let them know that you don't plan on doing anything that will ruin the freindship. I know that works because I am with a girl right now that I was extremely close too and sure we have some relationship problems but us being friends before hand helps us out and just makes us grow closer together.
i think this is true. My current Girlfriend and i were relatively good friends. (back in 7th and 8th grade) I even was told that she liked my the summer after my 8th grade. I just kinda brushed it off and stayed friends. Now in starting high-school I became more friends with her. We would hang out in the morning before school began. Then after half a year we would talk on-line with ether alot. she dropped a couple hints, but I'm bad at taking hints . Well one night i actually asked her out. January on my freshmen high-school year. And i am still currently going out with this girl. Have now finished my Junior year of HS (almost 2.5 years). And i still love being around her

Don't worry it will come to you. Don't rush things. rushing things, especially relationships, could be bad. How long had you known this girl? Maybe you should have waited some more time. Maybe you should have just tried to hang out with her.
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Old 05-30-05, 09:48 PM   #16
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Think of it this way. The person who you intend to have a relationship with should be your best freind. If it leads to other stuff later so be it. So if they say they want to be friends you are half way there... Sometimes the best friends take alot of patience.
Me and my wife are the bestest of friends, and was well before we got hitched.

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Old 05-31-05, 12:19 AM   #17
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This is why I stay at home.

Well that and sunlight (ahhh it burns).
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Old 05-31-05, 01:17 AM   #18
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That's when you light the girl on fire and push her into a lake full of piranhas.

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Old 05-31-05, 03:09 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enablingwolf
Me and my wife are the bestest of friends, and was well before we got hitched.

DING DING DING DINNNNNG!

Anyways, most people our age are not very interested in relationships. I wouldn't let it get to you.
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Old 05-31-05, 03:40 AM   #20
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oh yeah, i forgot to mention this. we kind of fell into our relationship. we weren't dating or anything like that. it just...happened. i'm not saying you should expect something like that (i'm a geek, how should i know what to expect anyway? i didn't know what was happening when it happened), i'm just letting you know what happened with us.

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