What The World Really Needs

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The Asus F6V Multicolor stinks.  Literally.

It’s the world-first scented computer.  And it’s not even a Mac!

After biting my fingers numerous times, I will avoid commenting on the desirability of such a machine, and will refrain from speculating as to why this innovation never made it to guns or pickup trucks. 

I’m going to treat this laptop feature as something as normal and essential as a laptop battery.

Oh, oh, trouble!  How do you recharge this?   

Ladies and gentlemen, just so you wouldn’t have to, I looked, looked hard throughout the Asus site to answer this critical question, yet it availed me not.   

Maybe this is like replacing an iPod battery, such a technological wonder needs a factory refresh. 

But, you know, let’s assume I’m somebody straight out of Sex and the City, and a scented laptop really strikes me as just the thing I need.  Wouldn’t I want my laptop scent to, you know, match whatever it was I was wearing?  What if I wanted to, you know, upgrade the scent?  And what if, God forbid, I started wearing this year’s fragrance while my laptop smelled so last year?  I would just die!!

Update: I am saddened to report that this is a one-shot deal, rub oil into the lid, and when it evaporates, you can’t bring back that smelly feeling.

Actually, I think Asus missed the boat on this one.  I can see the concept being used much more fruitfully at retail computer stores.   

You’re a salesperson in the laptop area.  Your average customer just doesn’t want to spend squat on his or her new laptop.  That means you don’t get squat in commissions or bonuses from selling one.  How can you get customers to spend more without being accused to bait-and-switch techniques?

Really, why should lousy cheap laptops smell as good as the good expensive ones?  It’s unfair.  If people want to buy crap, it should stink like it, too.  Really, it’s consumer advocacy; it’s effective communications.  You need every tool you can get to make people understand what it is they’re really buying.  They may not understand GHzs and GBs, but THAT they get.     

OK, maybe that’s not such a good idea since you’re going to spend all day, every day around them.  How about a less offensive, more realistic scent, like that of burned electronics?  That ought to slow the bargain hunters down a little.  I’m sure you could get the more than slightly ashamed look down and say, “Now that you mentioned it, a lot of them do smell like that.   I guess that’s because they get made in China, you know.”  Then you point them to the better, better-smelling ones. 

What could be wrong with that?  The beauty of it is that it isn’t even anti-China, after all, just about all these laptops get assembled in China, so even they make more money out of the deal, too!

Think about it.  Is it so much worse than what people do to sell other products today?   

Tongue out  

Ed

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