Computer Games Stunt Your Growth!

Just being a scientist doesn’t mean you can’t be stupid.–Ed

Have you ever noticed that whenever something fun comes along, someone will say that it’s bad for you?

Whenever you see a story like this, it always helps to go to the source and see exactly what was done.

In this case, the original story was found here.

This was the experiment:

Two groups of kids had their brain activity measured: One group played Nintendo, the other group did math exercises.

Not surprisingly, the kids doing math showed more brain activity than the kids playing Nintendo.

Unlike most experiments, though, this experiment seems to have stunted the experimenter’s mental ability more than the experimentees’.

He concluded from this that this not only stunted mental development, but also self-control, and we are bound to have a generation of uncontrollable dullards on our hands.

I will refrain from comment on some of his extremely dubious assumptions, like thinking makes you nonviolent.

Rather, let’s assume he’s right.

As a public service, Overclockers.com is providing a list of unfortunately common activities by children and teens which also require much less mental activity than math. Beginning immediately, we strongly suggest everyone under the age of 20 be required to do math exercises as a necessary mental supplement to these activities:

Breakfast, lunch and dinner
Walking
Riding as a passenger
Taking a bath

Brushing one’s teeth
Waiting on line
Any form of resting (I think sleeping is OK, but I could be wrong)
Sitting under a tree enjoying a nice day.

So the next time your parents want you to take a bath, just tell them, “You are trying to stunt my mental growth!” and report them to Child Services.

I’ve left the best for last, though.

Television

We have fifty years of experience with people watching too much television. I defy any scientist to show me that watching the average television show could be mentally any better than playing Nintendo.

So where are all these raving retarded lunatics? Why isn’t this guy screaming to have TV banned?

I could go on and on, but rather than waste my own mental processes, I think this guy better check his.

Email Ed