As Flames Roar out my ears , i will never buy anything again :-)

[Steven-1979]

. . . . . . . . . The entirety of this post is a fictious parody of what really happens, while persons of the same name and company might exist in the real world, those persons and companies in this post are not the ones in the real world. . . . . .

Me: Hello, tech support please . . .

Them: music - - - - music - - - - music - - - -We think your call is important - - - music - --- music
(30 minutes later on long distance call)

Them: Hi my name is greg, how can i help you today

Me: Hi i have the blinko 88 adapter, and the BIOS that is on the CD you provided will not flash this revision of the card, i downloaded the 2 off the web and they also are not compatable flash roms for this eprom. I am using the blinko flash utility, and i have tried it using Dos also.

Them: Did you try and flash the BIOS from the CD

Me: yes sir, i tried to flash using the ones that came on the CD and it will not work on this revision of the card. I am using the blinko flash utility

Them: Ok you go to web site at WW2Blinko/bios

Me: Yes sir i am at that location now and i do not see any other bios than the ones i have tried from there the software specifically states that the Eprom size is 84k and the flash i am trying to put on is 66k. (or some such thing)

Them: then you must use the one from the cd , and you will have to flash it from dos

Me: is there a possibility that this is the wrong cd , i have revision 74.32 of the card, do you have a rom that will flash to that revision of the card? the Blinko flash utility shows this error (paste in actual error) the dos utility shows the same errror.

Them: You have to use the binko flash utility.

Me: Yes i am using the blinko flash utility , but i have also tried flashing using a dos disk, and it still will not work. do you just think you could check and see if there is a bios for this revision.

Them: Oh no, you cannot flash it from dos, you have to use the blinko flash utility

Me: i have USED the blinko flash utility, and i get this error, i have used the dos utility also, do you have a bios for this revisision revision 74.32 of the card.

(long pause -- music --- click - - - - dead air - - - - -)
wait wait wait, beep beep beep , please hang up and try again
redial

Them: music - - - - music - - - - music - - - -We think your call is important - - - music - --- music
(25 minutes later on long distance call)

Them: Hello blinko tech support.

Me: Hi i was just talking to Greg, can i talk to greg again we got cut off, i think he was checking something for me.

Them: there is no greg in this office , were you talking to bangezze?

Me: no i was talking to greg, look can i talk to your supervisor

(long pause -- music --- music ---- music - - - - -)

Them: Hello this is bangezze, how can i help you today
(it is "Greg" oh well)

Me : I have the blinko 88 adapter rev 74.32 , i am trying to flash to the new bios to fix the card (paste in error)

- - - -(for the sake of brevity, as you all know we go through the first 57 lines of this script all over again)- - - - -

Them: I am very sorry , you have to use the blinko utility to flash

Me: I use the blinko utility , i believe the rom does not work with this card, did you see the error? do you know what that error means? I just need the rom itself to work with that revision. I also tried it in dos it does not work, same error.

(long pause -- music --- music ---- music - - - - -)

Them: You cannot use the blinko utility with that revision of the card, you have to do it in DOS.

Me: I have tried it on dos, i have tried the rom on the cd, and both roms on the web, it seems that the Rom does not fit the eprom on the card, i NEED THE ROM itself that works with revision 74.32 of the card.

Them: then you will have to go to ww2.blinko/bios and download it from there.

Me: i have done that, can i talk to your supervisor or a tech that can help, i have a different revision of the card, it doesnt work.

Them: well you have to use the blinko utility

. . . . . . . . . The entirety of this post is a fictious parody of what really happens, while persons of the same name and company might exist in the real world, those persons and companies in this post are not the ones in the real world. . . . . . .
.

loooool so true

 

[theELVISCERATOR]

Front page? Its nonsensical to me and couldnt get past the first few sentences.

 

[timesavage]

Psycogeec...stop using computers and you will probably not be so frustrated. Forget all the crap, I just love building computer regardless of all the lack of communication, it keeps me sober! Try playing music, you only have to answer to yourself when it come to art! good luck!

 

[Psycogeec]

Quotes From Star Trek, if star trek was actually in our future.

Bones: She's dead jim, the Med4030 isn't supported any more.

Kirk: But spock , the features said it could detect the borg from 6 LightYears away, now they are on top of us.

Scotty: Sorry capt'n she just cant take anymore, remember the bandwitch cap that the klingons put on, there is nothing i can do about it now.

Uhura: Captain, the signal is very weak, I will see if i can clean it up. . . . its in some alien language , something about needing to reactivate.

Jordi: Its the plasma data conduent, someone must be downloading a torrent in the holodeck.

Janeway: but how could they all be dead, we didnt send the virus out yet, just the upgrade.

Spock: Illogical, the features of the few are overriding the bugs of the many.

Picard: What do you mean the computer is down, dont we have half the crew working on that now?

7of9 : hello, collective hello can you hear me now, is it working?

Checkov: Vat are you doing here and Vhere did you come from ? O'Neil: it must have been a glitch in the dialing program.

.

 

[CompuTamer]

This thread is hilarious I'm subscribing.

 

[druidelder]

I have worked from the other end. While there are definitely businesses that have this issue, there are definitely cutomers that are just as bad.

Customer: Your site is broken and giving me errors. This is unacceptable.

Me (Thinking): Server is up, can ping from outside, comes up on my screen....
Me (Talking): Currently our site is up and running, but if you could describe to me exactly the issue, I will be glad to assist you in any way I can.

Customer: Your site is preventing me from submitting my request. It's giving me all sorts of errors.

Me (Talking): Exactly what is the error message that you are seeing?

Customer: It just say error.

Me: All errors generated by our site will either give you a specific error in a notification window, a small grey box with an okay button, or will give you a generic message to contact the help desk. This is accompanied by a yellow yield sign. Do either of these apply?

Customer: No, i just says error.

Me: Is that message appearing in some kind of pop-up or is the screen going blank with that text at the top of the page?

Customer: It says http://www.*****.com at the top.

Me: That is the top of your browser. What does the top of the webpage show.

Customer: It looks normal, it just doesn't do anything when I hit next.

Me: So it doesn't say error?

Customer: No, it's just stuck.

Me: Did you fill in all of the required fields?

Customer: Of course I did, I'm not some kind of idiot.

Me: Let's go down the list just to make sure all of the data is in the right format. What did you put under name?

Customer: xxxx

Me: What did you put under address?

Customer: I'm not giving you my address.

Me: Unfortunately, that is a required field. If you want to submit your request, you will need to supply data in that field.

Customer: How am I supposed to know it's required?

Me: The red label marked "required" that immediately follows the textbox.

Customer: Why do you need this information?

Me: We have to know where to ship items. Have you entered the information?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Try hitting the next button now.

Customer: I'm on the payment page. I still don't get why this didn't work before. Your site sucks. *click*

 

[turbohans]

This thread is hilarious I'm subscribing.

Mee too! Gonna take me an hour just to read and soak it in so far.

 

[hafa]

Me: Try hitting the next button now.

Customer: I'm on the payment page. I still don't get why this didn't work before. Your site sucks. *click*

Far too true. I can't count how many times I've had the following conversation:

User: I can't find my program
Me: OK, click the start button
User: On the front of the computer?
Me: No, on your desktop
User: I don't have any buttons on my desktop, only an ink blotter
Me: No, your computer's desktop
User: Where's that?

Ad Nauseum...

I do find bits of Psycogeec's rambling rant amusing, but really can't relate. In my not insubstantial experience, there's no computer problem that cannot be solved with patience and diligence. The resources available to us today are immense and immediate compared to what we had to deal with 20 years ago. How many remember waiting weeks for a driver/font/update on a floppy to arrive via post, only to find that the software/hardware vendor sent the wrong version/iteration? I'll take today's environment, hands down.

 

[CompuTamer]

Biggest issue i have is that since the majority of people who call don't know what they're talking about or doing, when i do have to call, i'm usually treated like an idiot. It's not so bad with companies like XFX and Intel, but Dell, HP, etc, are notorious for it. (They also have that one driver that you have to have emailed to you because of their stupid proprietary motherboard or some silly crap like that)

 

[cravinmild]

Most excellent read, thanks for that, thought i was the only one. This is a behavior i have seen at every level in every industry. From ordering food to getting healthcare to buying products there is stupidity, Lazy peeps, poor products, out right lies, overpromising and underproducing, fine print..........

better odds of seeing a Unicorn vs. seeing good service.

 

[Aynjell]

Yay, for gateway support!

Rep: Hi, my name is Rep. How may I help you?
Me: hey Rep
Rep: Hi <me>.
Me: hey, I have a 7805u fx laptop. which power supply part number do I need to order?
Rep: May I know the correct serial number of your computer?
Me: don't have it in front of me
Rep: May I know the date of purchase?
Me: I didn't buy it
Rep: Oh, I see.
Me: I just want to know where to buy a power supply for a 7805u
Rep: I will do my best to resolve the issue.
Rep: I understand that you wish to purchase power supply.
Me: yes
Rep: Thank you for the confirmation.
Me: for a gateway 7805u FX laptop
Rep: For purchasing desktop parts, you may please contact http://www.skyline-eng.com. Skyline Engineering, Inc. | 2231 US Hwy 12 | Suite 101 | Baldwin, WI 54002. Call Toll Free: 888-393-7223.
Me: Rep
Me: tarnsfer me to somebody who understands computers/english please
Rep: Yes please.
Me: because I've been very clear
Me: I'm lookign at the part I'm thinking it is
Rep: <me>, I will help you to resolve the issue.
Me: I know what I'm doing
Me: you don't.
Rep: I understand that you wish to purchase power supply.
Me: I just want confirmation on your side of what part to rder
Me: for a LAPTOP
Me: a power adapter
Rep: Okay.
Me: a charging cable
Me: not desktop parts
Me: I don't need to call skyline engineering
Rep: I will provide you the part number.
Rep: May I place you on hold for couple of minutes, while I will retrieve some valuable information from our database?
Me: Yes please.
Me: Also please confirm that the part is in stock
Rep: Thank you for being online, I really appreciate your patience.
Rep: <me>, could you please check the model number of your computer?
Me: gateway 7805u fx
Rep: <me>, may I know from where you have purchased the laptop?
Me: Best buy.
Me: Seriously, it doesn't ign matter
Me: I want to know what power supply goes to a gateway 7805u FX laptop
Me: transfer me to somebody who know what they're doing, PLEASE
Rep: <me>, I can understand your concern.
Me: No, you can't. I've tried to explain 3 to 4 times and you haven't. Please, transfer me now.
Rep: Did you purchase the laptop from US or Canada?
Me: US, again, transfer me to somebody who knows what they're doing please.
Rep: Please provide me the serial number.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: Manager.
Me: I've been very freaking clear.
Me: Give me your manager NOW.
Me: I told you I don't have this information in front of me, I've been very clear on that.
Me: And you don't get it.
Me: Give me your manager NOW.
Manager: Hi, my name is Manager. How may I help you?
Rep has left the chat.
Me: Oh god, seriously can I talk to somebody american please?
Me: I have nothing against indian/nepali/philipino but jeez youguys have probably never even seen one of these.
Me: All I'm trying to get from you guys is the model number of the laptop power supply for a Gateway 7805U
Manager: <me>, I will try my best to help you with the issue.
Me: I'll give you one shot bud.
Me: Give me the part number for a laptop power supply for the Gateway 7805U laptop.
Me: That's all I need from you.
Me: I don't have the laptop.
Me: I can't give you a serial number.
Manager: Is it P-7805U?
Me: I can't give you anything on the laptop.
Me: And yes.
Manager: That is fine.
Manager: Wait I will provide you the part number of the adapter.
Me: Thank you.
Manager: You are welcome.
Me: You're talking to an IT guru. I do this crap in my sleep. I know what I was looking for, I want a gateway branded power supply for my laptop. that's all I want, I don't want a freebie, nothing stupid, just want the model number so I can order it off your site. Rep was quite frankly completely unfit for her job. She needs to be placed under review. It's like she couldn't even read what I was typing. I said laptop twice and she said f
Me: "for purchasing desktop parts derp derp derp"
Me: I'm like, seriously?
Manager: The adapter is 90 W one.
Me: nah, 120w
Me: it's a gaming laptop
Me: needs a fair bit of power I believe.
Manager: Then it is FX series.
Me: Okay, sorry about that. I didn't realize the P7805u and the p7805u fx were different, but I did mention it was an fx laptop earlier in this chat.
Me: Yes, it's orange and black and glows all sorts of pretty orange
Manager: Yes the gaming one.
Manager: I got it.
Manager: Both are same.
Me: Same to same?
Me: I have the model up on my screen. I think it's the right one, but I want to see you guys say it first. but specifically I'm thinking it's AK.120AP.005
Manager: The part number.
Manager: 6500918
Me: got al ink to the website for me?
Manager: Do you need to purchase one?
Me: Yeah
Manager: Let me check.
Manager: http://us-store.gateway.com/category.aspx?modelID=2388&ModelName=P-78
Manager: You can place the order in our website for the adapter.
Me: can you make sure you have 'em in stock?
Manager: I will have to check that.
Me: I appreciate it, thank you.
Me: Also can you verify that it includes the attaching cable (as in it has the barrel connector, the brick, and the detaching 3 pin power cable?)
Manager: It says that need - 2 business days for processing the order.
Manager: It doesn't have the power chord.
Manager: I can provide you another link.
Me: that's fine
Me: I was just curiosu
Manager: In that it has the power chord too
Me: I belive I have two of them laying around.
Me: I have the old one
Me: my silly girlfriend was driving to her aunt and uncles house and caught the cable into the door of her car and it wore off on her drive up there.
Manager: I have another link for you.
Me: so really I just need the brick part.
Me: but thanks you've been most helpful
Manager: You are most welcome.
Manager: Do you need the other link too?
Me: nah man we're good
Me: but that power supply is IN STOCK, right?
Me: I'm not gonna be waiting weeks/months for it right?
Manager: No just 2 business days for processing the order.
Manager: Keep the order number with you after you place the order so can check the status of shipment.
Manager: Jame one mistake.
Manager: <me>, are you there?
Me: sorry bud
Me: I'm at work
Manager: It has the power chord too.
Me: awesome
Me: thanks!
Manager: You are welcome.
Me: so what's the deal, are you level 2 or just another agent, or her manager or what?
Manager: I am the supervisor, the level 2 support is available only with voice and email support.
Manager: In chat we do not have the level 2 support option.
Me: I see, well Rep was terrible
Me: please review this chat
Me: it's like she couldn't even understand me
Manager: I will.
Manager: I will check the chat and will update her regarding the same.
Me: not knowing is one thing, but telling me flat out the wrong thing is an entirely different matter.
Me: I said laptop twice ( checked) and she sent me information on a desktop power supply.
Manager: I apologized for the same.
Me: and again after telling her several times the model number (gateway 7805u fx laptop) she still insisted on asking questions regarding the laptop when I was clear I didn't have it with me.
Manager: Really sorry about that.
Me: well that part was fine
Manager: I will check the chat and educate her regarding the same.
Me: I'm okay with a bit of less education on product/material
Me: but when I asked/demanded for escalation she refused
Me: insisting she can help me
Me: when she clearly could not
Me: I eat sleep and breathe computers. had I of been anybody else she'd of cost some poor slub who didn't know better money or just flat out wasted their tiem.
Manager: <me>, really apologize for the same.
Me: oh, you don't have to apologize to me, just don't want that to happen to somebody else.
Manager: I will provide coaching regarding the same.
Me: thanks again!
Manager: You are welcome.
Manager: Thank you for contacting Gateway technical support. Have a nice day.
Me: you too

 

[hafa]

As CompuTamer observed, manufactures such as Gateway are the worst in regards to outsourcing their call centers, so service calls to them are likely to be futile at best.

For sourcing parts such as notebook power supplies (AC Adapters), you're far better off finding a reputable accessories dealer in the US (a very easy prospect). You'll find dealing with them much less frustrating and far more productive.

 

[CompuTamer]

I just thought of one... can't remember exactly what was said, but it went something like this:

Them: Hi, thanks for calling HP Networking. How may we help you?
Me: I have a 3Com Wireless G card (model number here). From my understanding, HP now owns 3Com.
Them: That's correct.
Me: I need a driver for this card. I've tried signing up on the site to get the driver, but it won't give me the code i need to register. The email doesn't contain any code.
Them: What computer are you using?
Me: An HP 6910p. I'm downloading the driver on this computer, to transfer to a Toshiba computer.
Them: Does this Toshiba support WiFi?
Me: No... hence my using this card...
Them: I'm sorry, but you'll have to purchase a new laptop with WiFi capabilities. I can give you a $100 discount on one, making the total cost $400.
Me: I just need the driver for this wireless card. Can you give me the driver, or the code so i can go get it on my own?
Them: You'll have to get a laptop that supports WiFi.
Me: This card ADDS the support. I just need the driver for it.
Them: You can't do that with a notebook that doesn't support -click-

I hung up. I was furious. Dug around, and someone from OCForums managed to dig the driver up for me.

 

[4GHZ_or_bust]

I've had something like this. Last fall when I was playing WoW, I kept getting DC'ed. I did tracert.exe and found either monster lag (from few ms to over 5,000 ms) or dead connection through AT&T network, which Blizzard uses for the online game. So I post in WoW tech support with a copy of trace. They tell me it's my ISP. My ISP is not AT&T and I didn't have issue until the network reached AT&T line.

Then they tell me to not use wireless network. How is my home network breaking the connection 1,000 miles away? I tell them my computer is directly connected via wire.

I got the usual update driver, update Windows, reinstall WoW, delete addons, cache, and wtf folder, etc. Nothing improved.

Then they tell me it's my ISP. I check with my ISP anyway and got a very intelligent person who checked over and said the problem is with AT&T. I tell Blizzard tech support guy.

They tell me (surprise, surprise) that I need to stop using wireless network, completely ignoring the post I made stating I didn't use wireless network 4 or 5 spots above. I tell them look up on the post.

They tell me it's my ISP. I tell them look up. I tell them I am on wired network, not using wireless, ISP confirmed it's not them, deleted folders, reinstalled everything (including kitchen sink). They tell me reinstall WoW. Someone else quoted my post and tried to explain to the tech that I already did everything.

Have not had a response since then, probably they saw 500 more posts from other players who had the same problem I had and realized it was AT&T that was sucking **** on players who didn't have AT&T as ISP. I only wish I knew the postal address to that ignorant tech so I could send him crow pies.

And they wonder why I am not playing WoW.

 

[CompuTamer]

Heh.

Do this
already did
Okay, do this
already did
Try this now
didn't work
Do this again
already did
Okay, do this again,
already did
Try this again
didn't work.
Repeat 5x with angry me at the end

 

[markp1989]

I had similar experiences a few years ago when I was with AOL UK.

the broadband was down , connection light on the router was indicating that the router couldnt connect.


AOL rep: hi, aol blah blah how may i help?
me: hey, just calling as my internet has been down for the last few hours, the light on the router is blinking red
AOL rep: yes sir, that means that your internet isnt connected.
me: I know thats why I'm calling.
AOL rep: can you reboot the computer your using please?
me: my computer has been rebooted multiple times, besides the router is not connecting to the internet, rebooting the the machine nearest me isnt going to help.
AOL rep: well reboot all your machines it may help.
me: I'm not gonna waste my time waiting for them to reboot when it wont make any difference.
AOL rep: sir, can I ask where you brought your computer from?
me: how is that relevant?
AOL rep: well maybe your computer isnt good enough for the fast broadband we are providing.
me: the pc is custom built, and perfectly capable of using the internet
AOL rep: ok sir, is your phone line working?
me: yes, I have been on the phone to you for the last 20 minutes!!
AOL rep: maybe you should call BT and see if there is a problem on your line?
etc....

 

[Super Nade]

I've found out that asking on the forums or scouring Google gets me an answer faster than arguing with worthless tech support people.

 

[Brando]

Me: Hey evga, my card is broken. it's doing this and that.
Evga: Please go to the site and fill in a few lines and type the serial number
Me: *goes to evga.com, registers card, and describes problem*
Evga: Here's an RMA number, send us the card.
Me: *sends card next day*
Evga: *receives card day after that and mails me another one*
Me: one day later card comes in, i install it, and all is well.

 

[goin postal]

this is so true and hilarious been thru most all of those situations from both ends of the phone.

 

[burningcpu]

Trying to get Cox internet setup at a friends house. I had to call to give Cox the information for the used cable modem we were using. I got to the point where the modem should attempt to connect to the Cox network and obtain an IP address, but each time it would report that the modem was not in the system, and to contact support.

Rep: Hmm...looks like there is a problem with either your laptop or the network cable between the laptop and the modem.

Me: No, there isn't. This is a problem on your end. My laptop is obviously able to connect to the modem, as I'm able to see the Cox splash page. The error message says that your database or whatever doesn't have this modem listed as part of my account.

Rep: Please replace your ethernet cable.

Me: ....

Me: No. You aren't listening.

Rep: You need to replace your ethernet cable.

Me: Argh. Fine. Done. (Lies)

Rep: Did that fix it?

Me: Dude...no. I told you the issue already, and you aren't doing anything to address it.

Rep: Please power down your laptop and remove the battery.

Me: I want to speak to your manager. I don't have time for this.

Rep: Wastes more of my time...

Me: Argh.

Manager: Please power down your laptop and---

Me: Explains one more time.

Manager: Please power down your laptop and--

Me: We're done.

I gave up and told my friend that he'd have to figure it out himself or get a different ISP.