lapping can cause a floating effect.
that's what you really want to avoid. if your hs is floating on ASII instead of just filling in the cracks then youve decreased the thermal transfer rate.
i'm not a believer in lapping. only time i would lap is if the hs was dented or bent in such a way that good contact between hs and core was impossible.
i don't believe in polishing, which is what most ppl that lap seem to do. polishing is bad.
you kinda hit it on the head when you said it lowers pressure, think about it, when you polish youve significantly increased the area that is trying to make contact w/ the core, like flats on a racing car. this would ideally be a good thing, but then you got that dab of ASII in between, asII being the race car flats equivalent of water. what happens to that race care w/ it's flats when water is thrown in the equation, because of the absolute surface area of the flats as opposed to treaded tires, the tire floats on the water.
same w/ hs's and cores. you can definitely polish so that your hs would float,
the purpose of asII is so that you won't have to lap.
if you are going to polish your hs, i strongly recommend using almost no asII.
that's why you polished it right, to improve contact between hs and core?