Well you and a lot of others are not to blame, if the blame is gonna be put anywhere it would be on those guides that makes it look "so easy".
I'm not gonna pinpoint any special guide - I think very often the problem is that people that know how to do it take for granted that everybody have basic skills that is needed to fully understand the sanding process.
But that is wrong of course, it is a fact that we have different skills/education and so on - without looking down - or up at each other. This is real life situations - we are all different with different skills and trades.
I think you did good CompuTamer, and I think you should leave your cpu like it is, you did get a better result after all - most ppl will get better temperatures since the ihs's is terrible fro mthe start. That is if they don't sand it down too much.
But when you hunting .x degrees you will need at least a micrometer, ideally a thickness measurement instrument, a flat surface lapping plate (a thick glass plate is actually ok) - have the skills needed and a lot of patience.
If you don't have this tools you will end up with a IHS that almost never have the same thickness.
The natural result is - a surface that are not equal in thickness - also height - will not be very good for thin tims. And a very fine surface is not very good for thick tim's - therefore someone misunderstand this problem to that "a coarse surface is better" - while the fact is that their ihs hasn't the same height.
Just think of it - your ihs might be thinner/lower at one of the corners