I did lap the heatsink, even though it passed the ketchup test with flying colors. I used the zalman stg-1 thermal paste. I believe the reason the pressure is bad is becuase there is nothing under the brackets, which is why they bend. All the pressure is going into the brackets instead of the cpu.
update: OK! so I got a ton of parts, backplate, metal washers, rubber washers, bolts, nuts, brackets..EVERYTHING. Was a major pain to mod the backplate & mount everything. Temps have improved. they are about 4-5c better. Another thing I saw when I was screwing the heatsink tighter & tighter was the BACKPLATE WAS BENDING!! This steel back plate was not even enough for the pressure I have mounted this thing. I unscrewed it a bit so its not bending so much, but I will see what more pressure would do tomorrow. Right now, its almost 3am, im hungry, tired, and just happy I FINALLY have some improvment. More updates to come...