Junkyard_Dog
Disabled
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2002
Post all your cool Bill Gates and Windows jokes here. If you post a good one, you will win....
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Bill Gates and Windows Jokes
- Thread starter Junkyard_Dog
- Start date
- Joined
- May 28, 2002
- Location
- Sector 7G
Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house.
Windows 95 the most popular virus on the market today.
Mouse not present - click twice to continue...
Some windows were made to be broken.
Windows - so intuitive you only need a meg of help files!
Windows, it's not pretty, it's not ugly, but it's pretty ugly.
Windows means "Work is never done on Windows systems".
IBM creates Operating Systems - MS-DOSn't.
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
Microsoft is to Software as McDonalds is to Cuisine.
Windows95 - Plug and pray
Have you crashed your Windows today?
Have you reinstalled your Windows today?
Hiroshima '45 - Tschernobyl '86 - Windows '95
"Windows for dummies", another term of "this sentence no verb".
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT?
Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows...
Exhibitionists love Windows.
I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying...
Windows - Just another pain in the glass.
Windows - Turn your Pentium into an XT.
Windows - The Gates of hell.
Windows - a XT emulator for an AT.
Windows95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013)
Windows95: New look, same multicrashing.
Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading.
Windows95 - Every function is a restart function.
Windows95 does really have preemptive Multitasking: It can boot and crash at the same time.
Favorite Windoze game: "Guess what this icon does?".
Windows95 - crash compatible on Windows 3.x.
Windows NT - Nice Try.
Windows - a virus with mouse support.
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done.
Windows vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson.
The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. "No" is the answer!
Does someone know the cheats for Windows95?
This is an airconditioned room - Do not open Windows!
Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so...
Windows NT - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1.
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell.
Windows Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
Windows found - remove? (Y)es (S)ure (F)ine (O)K.
Windows has the ability to screw up 2 things at the same time!
If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse!
Microsoft's marketing: "Windows is SEMI-shareware".
Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for.
Microsoft broke Volkswagen's world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!
In a world without walls and fences - who needs windows and gates?!
My SPARCstation has air condition. No need to open windows.
Windows - The colorful clown suit for DOS.
Windows - a solitaire game that requires 16 MB.
If Windows is user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual?
"Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate".
The word "Windows" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass...".
Windows =Waste in DOS WorkSpace.
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows.
Alt-F4 Just do it.
Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
This virus requires Microsoft Windows 3.x.
OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? [Y,Y]".
Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS!".
Bugs come in through open Windows.
How do you make Windows faster? --- Throw it harder!
Relax... you are entering a windows free zone.
OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs.
New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++.
My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows.
If Windows 95 doesn't start shipping soon, it might be Curtains 95.
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile!
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.
Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven!
Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows!
A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
Difference between a virus and windows? Viruses rarely fail.
What's the difference between windows '95 and highly destructive unstoppable virus? About 90 Megs of hard disk space.
Who the **** is General Failure? And why is he reading my harddisk?
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I!
Help! There are Windows everywhere! In my car, my house.
How do Microsoft employees exchange a bulb? Not at all... Bill Gates declares darkness as a standard.
How many Windows PC owners does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, as long as you explain it's Plug'n'Play... they get confused if it doesn't come with a driver disk...
What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft? - One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.
Why is the Pentium 166 so fast? - It's for booting faster, if Windows crashed again.
What's the best of Windows95? The deinstaller!
Time on your hands? Get Windows!
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house.
Windows 95 the most popular virus on the market today.
Mouse not present - click twice to continue...
Some windows were made to be broken.
Windows - so intuitive you only need a meg of help files!
Windows, it's not pretty, it's not ugly, but it's pretty ugly.
Windows means "Work is never done on Windows systems".
IBM creates Operating Systems - MS-DOSn't.
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
Microsoft is to Software as McDonalds is to Cuisine.
Windows95 - Plug and pray
Have you crashed your Windows today?
Have you reinstalled your Windows today?
Hiroshima '45 - Tschernobyl '86 - Windows '95
"Windows for dummies", another term of "this sentence no verb".
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT?
Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows...
Exhibitionists love Windows.
I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying...
Windows - Just another pain in the glass.
Windows - Turn your Pentium into an XT.
Windows - The Gates of hell.
Windows - a XT emulator for an AT.
Windows95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013)
Windows95: New look, same multicrashing.
Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading.
Windows95 - Every function is a restart function.
Windows95 does really have preemptive Multitasking: It can boot and crash at the same time.
Favorite Windoze game: "Guess what this icon does?".
Windows95 - crash compatible on Windows 3.x.
Windows NT - Nice Try.
Windows - a virus with mouse support.
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done.
Windows vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson.
The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. "No" is the answer!
Does someone know the cheats for Windows95?
This is an airconditioned room - Do not open Windows!
Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so...
Windows NT - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1.
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell.
Windows Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
Windows found - remove? (Y)es (S)ure (F)ine (O)K.
Windows has the ability to screw up 2 things at the same time!
If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse!
Microsoft's marketing: "Windows is SEMI-shareware".
Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for.
Microsoft broke Volkswagen's world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!
In a world without walls and fences - who needs windows and gates?!
My SPARCstation has air condition. No need to open windows.
Windows - The colorful clown suit for DOS.
Windows - a solitaire game that requires 16 MB.
If Windows is user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual?
"Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate".
The word "Windows" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass...".
Windows =Waste in DOS WorkSpace.
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows.
Alt-F4 Just do it.
Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
This virus requires Microsoft Windows 3.x.
OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? [Y,Y]".
Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS!".
Bugs come in through open Windows.
How do you make Windows faster? --- Throw it harder!
Relax... you are entering a windows free zone.
OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs.
New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++.
My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows.
If Windows 95 doesn't start shipping soon, it might be Curtains 95.
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile!
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.
Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven!
Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows!
A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
Difference between a virus and windows? Viruses rarely fail.
What's the difference between windows '95 and highly destructive unstoppable virus? About 90 Megs of hard disk space.
Who the **** is General Failure? And why is he reading my harddisk?
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I!
Help! There are Windows everywhere! In my car, my house.
How do Microsoft employees exchange a bulb? Not at all... Bill Gates declares darkness as a standard.
How many Windows PC owners does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, as long as you explain it's Plug'n'Play... they get confused if it doesn't come with a driver disk...
What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft? - One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.
Why is the Pentium 166 so fast? - It's for booting faster, if Windows crashed again.
What's the best of Windows95? The deinstaller!
Time on your hands? Get Windows!
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2002
How do you make Windows faster? --- Throw it harder!
LOL its so true funniest thing i have read in a while, thanks Penguin.
-SSXIX
LOL its so true funniest thing i have read in a while, thanks Penguin.
-SSXIX
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2001
- Location
- The Netherlands
LOL
The day Microsoft builds something that doesn't suck, is probably the day they start building vacuum cleaners. (credit goes to some Dutch guy).
BTW: you can throw your computer out the window, but you can't throw windows out of your computer
Oh there's a video floating around with a guy that seems to be Al yankovich (sp?) which is about 56mb, they used to host it at ****microsoft.com (You know the F word ).
Have fun.
The day Microsoft builds something that doesn't suck, is probably the day they start building vacuum cleaners. (credit goes to some Dutch guy).
BTW: you can throw your computer out the window, but you can't throw windows out of your computer
Oh there's a video floating around with a guy that seems to be Al yankovich (sp?) which is about 56mb, they used to host it at ****microsoft.com (You know the F word
).Have fun.
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2002
- Location
- England. Liverpool, Aintree
LOL...this is funny....
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
LOL
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
LOL
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2001
- Location
- Lugoff, SC
KILLorBE said:LOL
The day Microsoft builds something that doesn't suck, is probably the day they start building vacuum cleaners. (credit goes to some Dutch guy).
BTW: you can throw your computer out the window, but you can't throw windows out of your computer
Oh there's a video floating around with a guy that seems to be Al yankovich (sp?) which is about 56mb, they used to host it at ****microsoft.com (You know the F word
Have fun.
HAHA! "Site created with a MAC"...that sux worse than Windows ever will.
- Joined
- May 11, 2002
Here's another good one about Re-installing Windows
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2002
- Location
- England. Liverpool, Aintree
LOL
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2003
- Location
- eating [email protected]
just thank god your not using MAC OSX
its worse then windows !!!!
its worse then windows !!!!
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2003
- Location
- eating [email protected]
If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2002
- Location
- England. Liverpool, Aintree
heard of that one before...nice tho
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2002
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
Great jokes guys
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2002
- Location
- Oregon, The InteLinux State
Windows: The $200 virus
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2003
- Location
- following Jack Bauer
thanx guys, i've enough now to entertain all of my friends.
And Penguin, where did you get them all ?
And Penguin, where did you get them all ?
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2002
- Location
- Vancouver Canada
first, some acronyms - ok, so not all of them are windows jokes, but still funny, then some windows==evil thing
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data on Whole System
PCMCIA -People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defective Operating System
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW - World Wide Wait
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code
Do you know that Bill gates' REAL name is William Henry Gates III? Nowadays, he is known as Bill Gates (III) where "III" means the order of third (3rd). So, what's so eerie about this name?
OK, if you take all the letters in Bill Gates III and then convert it in ASCII code (American standard code for information interchange) and then ADD up all the numbers...you will get 666, which is the number of the beast!!!
B = 66
I = 73
L = 76
L = 76
G = 71
A = 65
T = 84
E = 69
S = 83
I = 1
I = 1
I = 1 = 666 !!!! THE NUMBER OF THE DEVIL
Coincidence? Maybe, but take WINDOWS 95 and do the SAME procedure and you will get 666 too!!! And the same goes for MS-DOS 6.31!!! Are you sure this is not a coincidence? You decide....
MS-DOS 6.21 ** 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666
WINDOWS 95 ** 87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1= 666
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data on Whole System
PCMCIA -People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defective Operating System
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW - World Wide Wait
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code
Do you know that Bill gates' REAL name is William Henry Gates III? Nowadays, he is known as Bill Gates (III) where "III" means the order of third (3rd). So, what's so eerie about this name?
OK, if you take all the letters in Bill Gates III and then convert it in ASCII code (American standard code for information interchange) and then ADD up all the numbers...you will get 666, which is the number of the beast!!!
B = 66
I = 73
L = 76
L = 76
G = 71
A = 65
T = 84
E = 69
S = 83
I = 1
I = 1
I = 1 = 666 !!!! THE NUMBER OF THE DEVIL
Coincidence? Maybe, but take WINDOWS 95 and do the SAME procedure and you will get 666 too!!! And the same goes for MS-DOS 6.31!!! Are you sure this is not a coincidence? You decide....
MS-DOS 6.21 ** 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666
WINDOWS 95 ** 87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1= 666
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2002
- Location
- Oregon, The InteLinux State
that's good
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2003
- Location
- eating [email protected]
wooo000oooo000ooooo bill gates is the devil incarnate!!!
what didn't we know?
what didn't we know?
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2002
- Location
- England. Liverpool, Aintree
OMG...LOL...funny
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