1. The servers are down.
2. If the servers are up, wait ten minutes and see rule 1, if servers are still up you have already reached the rule 8 threshold.
3 The latest client update will work perfectly for exactly 0.5 work units more then you test it.
4. If rule 3 seems incorrect, that is because the new client installation erased your username and team information.
5. Any two DC teams in friendly competition can immediately be thrown into turmoil by a single new 1st-poster posting a flame on the opposing teams board.
6. Your spouse/roommate will hate DC and complain bitterly if you add more DC systems.
7. If your spouse/roommate decides to support you in your DC hobby, you will immediately become too poor to buy more DC systems.
8. 25% of you DC farm will be down at any one time.
8a. If you have less then 4 systems DCing, your ISP will crash regularly so that the 25% rule (see rule 8) remains in effect.
8b. If you get your farm to 100% functionality, the new client upgrade will require more RAM/CPU/bandwidth, 25% of your systems will not meet these requirements.
9. If you shut down your farm, the storm will completely miss your house.
9a. If you leave your farm running a lightning strike will destroy half of your NICs and at least one hub or router.
10. Although you may think that the high-pitched whine is your delta 8k-rpm CPU fans, it is actually your electric meter.
11. If you're looking for a cheaper, less stressful hobby, might I suggest Formula One or America's Cup racing?
12. Two mail order parts will always arrive in separate parcels and a week apart.
13. The third mail order part will be on indefinite manufacturer's backorder and be vital to the function of the first two.
14. Any system slated for an upgrade with a mail order part will crash the day of the part's arrival. A different part will have failed.
15. If 14 proves incorrect, then inside the delivered box will be a tickle-me-elmo doll with your neighbor's address.
16. Your neighbor has just picked up his mail and left for a six week vacation in Belize.
17. If 12 through 16 prove false this is because you girlfriend just purchased a giant iguana, which will immediately eat you new part.
17a. This will require expensive surgery to remove and the part will be ruined (see rules 7 and 8 for more details).
18. The project will never end until the exact moment when all of the client bugs are eliminated.
19. Any glaring deficiencies in the DC client software will be laboriously rectified by third party programmers, at which point the client with be upgraded and the third party software will cease to function, but, the original deficiency will still exist.
20. If at any time your DC systems appear to be running smoothly, this is because the stats servers are offline and you will not receive credit for any work done during the "smooth period".
2. If the servers are up, wait ten minutes and see rule 1, if servers are still up you have already reached the rule 8 threshold.
3 The latest client update will work perfectly for exactly 0.5 work units more then you test it.
4. If rule 3 seems incorrect, that is because the new client installation erased your username and team information.
5. Any two DC teams in friendly competition can immediately be thrown into turmoil by a single new 1st-poster posting a flame on the opposing teams board.
6. Your spouse/roommate will hate DC and complain bitterly if you add more DC systems.
7. If your spouse/roommate decides to support you in your DC hobby, you will immediately become too poor to buy more DC systems.
8. 25% of you DC farm will be down at any one time.
8a. If you have less then 4 systems DCing, your ISP will crash regularly so that the 25% rule (see rule 8) remains in effect.
8b. If you get your farm to 100% functionality, the new client upgrade will require more RAM/CPU/bandwidth, 25% of your systems will not meet these requirements.
9. If you shut down your farm, the storm will completely miss your house.
9a. If you leave your farm running a lightning strike will destroy half of your NICs and at least one hub or router.
10. Although you may think that the high-pitched whine is your delta 8k-rpm CPU fans, it is actually your electric meter.
11. If you're looking for a cheaper, less stressful hobby, might I suggest Formula One or America's Cup racing?
12. Two mail order parts will always arrive in separate parcels and a week apart.
13. The third mail order part will be on indefinite manufacturer's backorder and be vital to the function of the first two.
14. Any system slated for an upgrade with a mail order part will crash the day of the part's arrival. A different part will have failed.
15. If 14 proves incorrect, then inside the delivered box will be a tickle-me-elmo doll with your neighbor's address.
16. Your neighbor has just picked up his mail and left for a six week vacation in Belize.
17. If 12 through 16 prove false this is because you girlfriend just purchased a giant iguana, which will immediately eat you new part.
17a. This will require expensive surgery to remove and the part will be ruined (see rules 7 and 8 for more details).
18. The project will never end until the exact moment when all of the client bugs are eliminated.
19. Any glaring deficiencies in the DC client software will be laboriously rectified by third party programmers, at which point the client with be upgraded and the third party software will cease to function, but, the original deficiency will still exist.
20. If at any time your DC systems appear to be running smoothly, this is because the stats servers are offline and you will not receive credit for any work done during the "smooth period".
