Kris,
I am having the same problem with my ASUS M5A97 & Phenom II 965 BE. When I install my (2x8GB, purchased as a kit) Corsair PC3-10600 RAM sticks in A1 & A2, the bios (and Windows) recognizes 16gb of RAM, only problem is that it runs in single channel mode. I ran a benchmark program called PerformanceTest (It was recommended on a forum as a means of seeing where your system bottlenecks are) and my RAM in single channel mode was performing similar to 2GB and 4GB of PC2-6400 on this benchmark, and their records of PC3-10600 RAM performed 2x better across the board.
If I put the same sticks of memory into slots A1 & B1, or A2 & B2, the systems recognizes 8GB of RAM but still sees both sticks of memory installed. CPU-Z sees both sticks, and Windows 7 64 bit Premium sees 16GB(7.9GB available).
I've also tried:
* Increasing NB and/or DRAM voltage, separately and together; system was stable but memory still only 8gb.
* Updating bios to current version (version 1208)
* Loosened the timings from 9-9-9-24 stock to 10-10-10-27 to see if that was causing issues
* Turned down the frequency to 1066
* Ran Memtest86 but it was only able to see the amount of RAM the BIOS was posting
* Tried the msconfig trick
* Cursing at Walmart for not carrying RAM when I go there at midnight
Any ideas/thoughts are most welcome. I've ruled out faulty RAM as they both work individually, and the slots will recognize that RAM is in them it just doesn't make the full 16GB available unless I run them in different channels and in single channel mode. I've also noticed a lot of people with ASUS boards are having similar problems getting dual channel mode to work on their systems.