anyone willing to review my assignment?

[(G{in}[AK)TION]]

remember that crypto interview i did a while back? well i am almost done with the assignment, i just need to include the interview on the paper.

so before i moved on to that part, i was wondering if you can review the paper for me and tell me what you think before i turn it in.would really help me and thanks in advance!

 

[idkfa]

I think a PDF would be more convenient for most users since .doc is a proprietary format

edit: I've read it and have some questions and remarks for you. But keep in mind that I'm neither a native speaker nor an expert in crypto currencies (CC).

1) What exactly is the topic of that paper? I think when reading a rather short paper, that should be clear to the reader. Is it about choosing what currency one would like to mine? Is it about the hardware? You mark out both topices but you don't elaborate enough on either one for my taste

2) What is the target group? For people who don't know anything about CC a little introduction would be nice.

3) 6th paragraph, 2nd sentence allot -> a lot?

4) I did very little reading on that topic however I was under the impression that electricity bills are a major factor and that it is very hard to really get profit from mining

5) Also I would like to have read something about: Why use CC at all? What are the benefits?

All in all it lacks details and explanations in my humble opinion.

I hope I could help you with my comments and wish you good luck

 

[cullam3n]

In no particular order:

• ASIC is acceptable, as opposed to A.S.I.C. (even still, A.S.I.C.S. is not a thing)
• I see "Lite Coin" and "Litecoin" and "litecoin" - be consistent (same with Bitcoin)
• Your title is "Crypto-mining" but you refer to it everywhere as "Crypto Currency Mining". Also can you justify why it's "Crypto Currency Mining" and just "crypto currency" without the mining? Is it deserving of being capitalized? (genuine question here)
• Minor spelling errors: "any other or of the 49 or more crypto currencies out there", "its" in paragraph 2 which should be "it's", "Im" instead of "I'm" in paragraph 3, "sha-256" should be "SHA-256", "Radeoin" instead of "Radeon", first sentence of paragraph 5 missing some punctuation, "Graphics card" in paragraph 5 capitalized for no real reason since you have it lower case in other places, CUDA needs to be capitalized, "Primecoim" in paragraph 5, "Allot" in paragraph 6, ending a quote that contains an exclamation inside with a period outside (only time this would make sense if the exclamation was part of a title for a book or something similar) in para 6 as well as not putting a comma before the quotation and capitalizing the first word there ("hey" in this case), "peoples" in the last paragraph where it should be "people's" since you are talking about "people's thoughts"
• "When users have enough of either one or some of these currencies mined up" - sounds weird, try replacing some with more?
• Check with your instructor about their policy of punctuation, like commas, with quotations. Different policies exist, and although the general rule in the US is to keep them in the quotations, situations do exist where they make more logical sense of keeping them outside of it. Typically if it governs the sentence as a whole and not just what is quoted, punctuation is left outside. But again, this varies with the instructor and what they believe the correct writing style is.
• You overuse the word "whatever" in your paper
• "A.S.I.C. Processors were made for mining Bitcoin and other coins that use the sha-256 algorithm, GPUs were made for games and GPU computing, and CPUs are the brains of the computer." This reads more like a list, and commas are not used to separate lists. These could all be broken into separate sentences the way it's currently written. You can rework this by taking out the "were" and "are" while using commas, or putting a period and making each its own sentence.
• You first mention "scrypt algorithm" in paragraph 3, but then make no reference to explain it. Who is your audience? What is the expectation of the knowledge they possess concerning the background of your topic? Remember to write to your audience, and explain things in more detail if its something you think your audience does not know.
• Your quote in paragraph 4 contains an "explanation here". I realize it's part of the quote, but if you are not going to link it, or attach a picture/diagram to reference it at the end of your article, take it out.
• "No it can’t because even though most CPUs nowadays run at around 3 GHz, they only have up to around 4 to 6 cores all depending on what brand and model CPU." - Redundant
• "However, the same rule that applies to A.S.I.C. processors and graphics cards also applies to all other “mining hardware”, the faster it is and the lower its power consumption is, the more profit you will earn in the end." While typically you only use a colon after a complete sentence and before a fragment, another rule is that if you can replace a colon with namely, then it is in the right place. Consider this: "However, the same rule that applies to A.S.I.C. processors and graphics cards also applies to all other “mining hardware”: the faster and the lower its power consumption is, the more profit you will earn."
• "As long as people are buying bitcoin with their alternative coins and US dollars, yen, or whatever country they live in currency they choose, bitcoin will be fine." - Semantics, but you list different types of legal currency, not the country of where the people are from.
• "It’s like finding the right fruits that will help make the right amount of juice while still keeping its flavor,: just how far will one go to get it?"

Take that as you will, as I'm not an English major or professor.

Overall it looks good though. Just a few key points to keep in mind:

1. Remember your audience! If you need to explain something, explain it.
2. Keep your tenses in line
3. Consistency is key
4. Make sure you are following the criteria given to you; if it's a research paper, make sure it follows the construct of a research paper. If it's a persuasive paper, make sure it follows the construct of a persuasive paper. And so on and so forth. Also by doing an outline, you can make sure you follow certain guidelines like having your conclusion restate your introduction, or by making sure you reinforce the message you want to convey to your readers.

Probably would have been easier to make comments in the doc and then reupload it - oh well lol.

 

[EarthDog]

I took a quick read through it and have to agree with both posters above me... This is a good start, but well from a finished product at this time. Outside of the punctuation and grammar I found myself having to go back and re-read passages to understand the intent and meaning of some of the work...

 

[Silver_Pharaoh]

There isn't much to add, the other guys here nailed good

But:

Some are coins that can be mined on A.S.I.C.S., GPUs, and CPUs while others can only be mined on GPUs and CPUs or CPUs only depending on which coin you’re mining.

why AMD Radeoin GPUs perform better than Nvidia in mining very well

” like Primecoim, PTS, quark coin, yacoin, and

A few spelling errors, but nothing serious.
Nice work

 

[(G{in}[AK)TION]]

oh god...i feel so bad after reading it. it was 1:20am and i was getting really tired. anyway, i revised the assignment. and i also want to ask about this sentence.

ASIC Processors are made for mining Bitcoin and other coins that use the SHA-256 algorithm, GPUs are made for games and GPU computing, and CPUs are the brains of the computer.

how is it a list?

 

[EarthDog]

I would worry about the overall structure and flow of things personally. It just seems so....... I don't know, disconnected. With respect, I get the feeling that someone that does not know the subject is trying to write about it which is not good.Perhaps I am on an island with this sentiment though... not sure.

 

[(G{in}[AK)TION]]

I would worry about the overall structure and flow of things personally. It just seems so....... I don't know, disconnected. With respect, I get the feeling that someone that does not know the subject is trying to write about it which is not good.Perhaps I am on an island with this sentiment though... not sure.

i feel like trashing the whole article now after reading this. ill copy and paste parts of the interview i got, turn it in, and then hope that i will get a good grade on it.

 

[EarthDog]

Now Gin... I certainly wouldn't do that!! It is a good start, but there is a lot of work to be done. Start with what was detailed above my first post and go from there!!

DO NOT TRASH IT!

 

[(G{in}[AK)TION]]

its due today.

what i mainly wanted to focus on was what its about, how people do it, how ones experience may be in crypto mining, and then copy pasta the interview into my paper.

i wanted to keep it simple and short.

 

[EarthDog]

Follow what the two posters above me said and it should be fine.

 

[(G{in}[AK)TION]]

its due today.

i wanted to focus on was what its about, little bit of how it works, how people do it, how ones experience may be in crypto mining, and then copy pasta the interview into my paper.

i wanted to keep it simple and short.

 

[EarthDog]

I'm guessing that was a forum glitch to post the same thing twice?

Otherwise, following what was said above should help you reach your goal. Its an EDIT for Pete's sake... it shouldn't take more than 10-20 minutes on a paper that short. Get 'er done!

 

[Silver_Pharaoh]

Ah you'll be alright.
Let us know how it goes

 

[DJDelusional]

While I have yet to read the paper, My initial statement would be to keep the paper you worked on and turn it in, rather than copy paste excerpts. If you are going to get a grade, let it be a grade for the work you did rather than the work you didn't do.

I don't think any of the critiques of your paper are meant as an attack or to discourage. Instead, they are giving you what you asked for, their opinion. Rather than feeling bad, guilty, or upset about that, embrace it and do as much as you can in the mean time. Its better to learn this skill early on, as you will be critiqued regularly in life. (if you don't already know this. ;-) )

Thats my two cents worth. Maybe if I get time after work I will come back and check out the paper.

 

[(G{in}[AK)TION]]

1. I'm guessing that was a forum glitch to post the same thing twice?

2. Otherwise, following what was said above should help you reach your goal. Its an EDIT for Pete's sake... it shouldn't take more than 10-20 minutes on a paper that short. Get 'er done!

1. i blame chrome.

2. it has to be three pages long including interview. just giving a friendly FYI.

View attachment 141206

Ah you'll be alright.
Let us know how it goes

lol

i hope so.

While I have yet to read the paper, My initial statement would be to keep the paper you worked on and turn it in, rather than copy paste excerpts. If you are going to get a grade, let it be a grade for the work you did rather than the work you didn't do.

I don't think any of the critiques of your paper are meant as an attack or to discourage. Instead, they are giving you what you asked for, their opinion. Rather than feeling bad, guilty, or upset about that, embrace it and do as much as you can in the mean time. Its better to learn this skill early on, as you will be critiqued regularly in life. (if you don't already know this. ;-) )

Thats my two cents worth. Maybe if I get time after work I will come back and check out the paper.

even though i show how bad i feel about the assignment, im glad that i got what i asked for anyway.