DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!!
DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!!
DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!!
Oh my God, I just played about 5 minutes of this game and already decided that it is going back to the store. OH MY GOD what a horrible game.
I started setting things up at 1:30 pm. It's now 3:50 and I've barely had my first 5 minutes into the game. There is 1 CD that contains the setup for the "PlayOnline Viewer" which is a separate program that launches FFXI. Then, there are 4 CDs for content, but that's not it! Oh no... After taking about 10 minutes to install off the CDs, you have to wait another 45 minutes, to an hour and a half (if you're on cable that is) to download the EXTRA content.
After downloading everything, you can finally register You didn't think they'd let you play without a little more work did you? Ooooh no. You double click on the PlayOnline icon and a small window pops up. You watch a somewhat interesting video with some cool music. But then you realize... "wow, this music is pretty annoying." But you ignore it with the thought that you're going to be in the awesome new world any second. Little do you know that the registration process is going to take you another 20 minutes of filling out crap that us Americans have NO need for whatsoever.
PlayOnline is basically AOL with some better looking games attached to it. And that's why it takes so long. They auto-assign you an email address and a user name that is ridiculously long and non-sensical. Mine was something like
[email protected]. So you write it down, which makes the process even longer. But then later on in the registration process (and they don't tell you this before you write down your long-as-hell email address), you find out that you can change the email address to something mroe useful.
So by now, you're like "what the hell is the freaking deal? I just want to play, damn it!" All the while, the annoying music is still banging away. I just turned the volume on my speakers to 0 because I couldn't take it anymore.
Yada yada yada... you get into the game. FINALLY... You make yourself a character, with almost no options for customizability I might add... There's about 8 faces to choose from, and 2 hair styles. That's pretty much it. You also ge to pick how tall you are. I guess that makes you a little different.... ???.... anyways, you name your character and then think, "SWEET! I'm finally in! Thank God!" But no.... no no no.... PlayOnline STILL messes with you.
You ahve to create a "handle" to attach your character to. I have no clue as to what purpose this serves. Luckily it take only a few seconds, but still, seconds that I could have spent playing the game.
Then you choose what kingdom you want to be from. I click on one and at loooooooooooooooooooooong last, the game world appears. SO YOU'D LIKE TO THINK!!!!
You now have the pleasure of watching some stupid Final Fantasy opening text that tell you some stupid crap that you REEEEALLY don't care about. I turned around to watch TV until I heard he music change. I whirled around back to my computer to see a chatbox. "PLEASE LET ME PLAY!!!" I shout in my head. Nope. Still no playing. You have to watch some scene with a couple people talkig and you can't just skip through it. You have to wait until they're done moving in order for them to say anything, and only then can you click passed their speech.
So I wait another 10 minutes and finally... yes FINALLY... I get to play. And now I find out that the controls were probably designed by the President of Square Enix's "special" child. You'd think they'd use the WASD or Arrow keys to move your character. No no no... They can't do that, otherwise it'd be a smart thing they did! Insetad, they set the NumPad keys for movement, and not the way you'd think either. If you were to guess, you'd say they'd set 8 for forward, 4 left, 6 right and 5 back. But oooooh no. That's not the way they do things in Japan. They set 5 to toggle First Person/Third Person View and have
2 set for back. Not 5, but 2!!!! That's not exactly as ergonomic as any human being would like. Insetad of running backward, you'll be switching views in emergency situations.
In addition, the graphics DO NOT look like the screenshots, they look like cartoons. There is no substance to any of the color whatsoever. Everything looks flat and dull. I set the settings for max all, and wow does this game look like crap or what? CHRIST!!!
The annoying music is STILL playing, and getting you even more ****ed off while you're trying to figure out how to move around efficiently. Finally, you decide "God damn it, I guess the only way to move is with the NumPad." SO then you start clicking on stuff and find out that you can also move by holding down the Left Mouse button and moving the mouse from side to side and front to back. Why'd they pick that as secondary movement? Who knows... they're from Japan.
So you try to talk to people... but you get no answer. Why? No. It's not because people are unsocial jerks. It's because they're still trying to figure out how to move! I finally got someone to talk to me and the only thing he said was, "This is not worth 50 bucks."
And addition to that 50 bucks, you have to pay the monthly fee... and in addition that THAT, if you want more than one char, it's an extra buck per char. I guess the Japanese think they can make money off us like they did off our little tykes with Pokemon.
Well I say SCREW THAT. This game is going back right now and I am going to go get Top Spin for Xbox. Good old Red-White-And-Blue American video game entertainment.
DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!!