- Joined
- Feb 15, 2004
- Location
- Morris, IL
twEEkerAreUs said:
Thelemac said:
-
Welcome to Overclockers Forums! Join us to reply in threads, receive reduced ads, and to customize your site experience!
Absurd things people say about PC's
- Thread starter twEEkerAreUs
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2004
- Location
- Morris, IL
Ok, a guy came into Circuit City saying that he just got this computer and it wont work. The power button was "faulty". Wanna know what the problem was? He only bought a case. Not a whole computer. He thought that the monitor and keyboard and whatnot connected to it through a lazer.
Something similar happened to me. my mom wanted a new computer so i told her that she needed XX dollars, she said "that's not true i saw one in a computer shop for XX/100" and i told her that price was impossible, then she said it was true and it was even a P4. she actually made me go to the store and she pointed a case in the window. it was an empty case, not even PSU, and had a sign that said "P4 compatible"
Malpine Walis
Disabled
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2001
- Location
- Banned Camp
Aphex_Tom_9 said:
DaWiper said:
Yah, I hear both all the time around here. I also occasionally hear people calling the main box the “modem” as in “I did not know I had to turn on my modem to use my computer” Typically, I get that right after I get a support call for someone who thinks that the monitor is the computer as in “I turned on my computer and nothing is happening”.
I also love it when people mismatch cables and then go looking for the magic adapter that will allow them to connect anything to anything else. Among my favorites are:
Trying to connect a parallel printer to a USB port. After all, if the USB port is “for printers” whatever that means, then any printer should connect to it with the right adapter.
Connecting anything parallel to a SCSI port. In that you can find a few SCSI cards that use the same D-sub connector, I only halfway blame people for that one. But if you can get the keyboard into the port next to the pic of a keyboard and the mouse in the identical port next to it but with the pic of the mouse, then how hard can it be to plug the printer into the port with the pic of a printer?*
And my real favorite: The people who want to find the special USB cable that they need to transfer stuff from the old computer. And they always know that there it is out there somewhere because of a friend who says that it exists. I especially love finding that guy in Staples with a confused teenager who is trying in vain to help the guy.
*One time I found someone who had replaced an old SCSI scanner with a parallel one. Despite having the new set-up sheet that said to plug it into the printer port and move the printer to the port on the scanner, they were trying in vain to connect the whole thing to the “scanner port”. OK next time let's try **reading** the instructions. It is kind of like baking a cake. If you can read the directions, you don't really need to understand how to bake per-se.
- Joined
- May 27, 2002
- Location
- Ohio
I have heard many people call the computer istelf a " Modem " or a " Hard Drive "
one of my friends, his mom is on the computer every day. She still calls the entire thing a " Hard drive " . I told her one day, that its not a Hard drive, its the computer iself. she told me " Yeah I know, but i got used to calling it a Hard drive, so i'm staying with that " Then she laughed. The lady is crazy, but nice and really cool.
i hate it when a person says overclocking will kill your computer instantly, But outside in their girage, is a car that they have added an extra 100+ HP to last month...i really want to just stab those people in the eye with a hot soldering iron.
People going to walmart to buy a video card. Nuff Said.
Most people i know, has no idea AMD even exists.
My friends dad is getting him a computer for school, he won't buy anything other than an INTEL based computer. I'm not even going to argue that one....i'll never win that battle...not with HIS dad.
Luckely my dad is half way decent with computers! he even asks me questions, has me look up where to get good deals on parts, like HDD's and such. He calls everything by its Correct name. But he's also the type, that when some new Electronic gadget comes out, if its within price range, He has to buy it. heh. so he's not dumb on computer, i just know more.
and amazingly, about a year ago, he admitted that i know more than him about computers. thats the first time EVER that he admitted that i know something more than him!!! ( he's actually a very smart guy )
My friend was psyched that his mom was thinking about buying a Geforce 4 MX440 Video card ( to replace their onboard video ). she was ordering it online, so i went to newegg, and found a better video card for the exact same price. ( they couldn't spend much money, i can't remember what i told them to get, but they listened to me. All i remember is that its alot better than a MX440. ) ( and the mom that is buying it, is the same mom that calls her computer a Hard drive, but they know i know alot about computers, so they always ask me if the decision is good or not, thank god. )
My friends mouse was messing up. She was talking to me on the phone, i had to ask her if the end of the wire has the " Round plug in " ( PS/2 ) or if it had the " Flat plugin " ( USB based ) because she has no idea on the actual names.
My other friend, his mom didn't want dust getting into the computer, so she took a bed sheet, and put it OVER THE COMPUTER, STOPPING NEARLY ALL AIRFLOR TO IT! When i saw that, i ripped the sheet off, and had my friend put his hand ON THE CASE ( plastic case ) and told him to feel the heat. he himself crapped. needles to say, they didn't do that again. ( good thing its an old old old computer that doesn't put out the heat like the new computers do )
Same friend, their monitor was all weirded out on them. Brand new Flat Screen ( CRT ). they was getting all weird colors and stuff on the side. his mom called the place she got it from, the guy told them that they'd have to go out and get a brand new monitor! i went over there, looked, and walked over to a fan that was sitting near the monitor, unplugged it. Problem was fixed. Then i de-gaussed the monitor. ( my god, that lasted for nearly a MINUTE. SERIOUSLY. that monitor had never been degaussed before )
i gave my friend Disk keeper lite. well not to long ago, he decided to defrag on his parants computer ( same friend, he got himself his own computer ). well, after Disk keeper finished analizing, there was more red, than green, white and all the other colors combined.
this next one, was from the forums, that someone said happened to them.
He went into his local computer shop, and asked them if they had any AMD XP Mobile processors. They laughed at him and said " This is is a COMPUTER shop, we don't sell laptop stuff here " he just walked out of the place after that.
well i could go on, but i'll end it here. hope to hear more storys from others.
one of my friends, his mom is on the computer every day. She still calls the entire thing a " Hard drive " . I told her one day, that its not a Hard drive, its the computer iself. she told me " Yeah I know, but i got used to calling it a Hard drive, so i'm staying with that " Then she laughed. The lady is crazy, but nice and really cool.
i hate it when a person says overclocking will kill your computer instantly, But outside in their girage, is a car that they have added an extra 100+ HP to last month...i really want to just stab those people in the eye with a hot soldering iron.
People going to walmart to buy a video card. Nuff Said.
Most people i know, has no idea AMD even exists.
My friends dad is getting him a computer for school, he won't buy anything other than an INTEL based computer. I'm not even going to argue that one....i'll never win that battle...not with HIS dad.
Luckely my dad is half way decent with computers! he even asks me questions, has me look up where to get good deals on parts, like HDD's and such. He calls everything by its Correct name. But he's also the type, that when some new Electronic gadget comes out, if its within price range, He has to buy it. heh. so he's not dumb on computer, i just know more.
and amazingly, about a year ago, he admitted that i know more than him about computers. thats the first time EVER that he admitted that i know something more than him!!! ( he's actually a very smart guy )
My friend was psyched that his mom was thinking about buying a Geforce 4 MX440 Video card ( to replace their onboard video ). she was ordering it online, so i went to newegg, and found a better video card for the exact same price. ( they couldn't spend much money, i can't remember what i told them to get, but they listened to me. All i remember is that its alot better than a MX440. ) ( and the mom that is buying it, is the same mom that calls her computer a Hard drive, but they know i know alot about computers, so they always ask me if the decision is good or not, thank god. )
My friends mouse was messing up. She was talking to me on the phone, i had to ask her if the end of the wire has the " Round plug in " ( PS/2 ) or if it had the " Flat plugin " ( USB based ) because she has no idea on the actual names.
My other friend, his mom didn't want dust getting into the computer, so she took a bed sheet, and put it OVER THE COMPUTER, STOPPING NEARLY ALL AIRFLOR TO IT! When i saw that, i ripped the sheet off, and had my friend put his hand ON THE CASE ( plastic case ) and told him to feel the heat. he himself crapped. needles to say, they didn't do that again. ( good thing its an old old old computer that doesn't put out the heat like the new computers do )
Same friend, their monitor was all weirded out on them. Brand new Flat Screen ( CRT ). they was getting all weird colors and stuff on the side. his mom called the place she got it from, the guy told them that they'd have to go out and get a brand new monitor! i went over there, looked, and walked over to a fan that was sitting near the monitor, unplugged it. Problem was fixed. Then i de-gaussed the monitor. ( my god, that lasted for nearly a MINUTE. SERIOUSLY. that monitor had never been degaussed before )
i gave my friend Disk keeper lite. well not to long ago, he decided to defrag on his parants computer ( same friend, he got himself his own computer ). well, after Disk keeper finished analizing, there was more red, than green, white and all the other colors combined.
this next one, was from the forums, that someone said happened to them.
He went into his local computer shop, and asked them if they had any AMD XP Mobile processors. They laughed at him and said " This is is a COMPUTER shop, we don't sell laptop stuff here " he just walked out of the place after that.
well i could go on, but i'll end it here. hope to hear more storys from others.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2003
- Location
- Albemarle, NC, USA!
Sometimes I wish I wasn't as computer literate as I am. I constantly have people calling me for help, and if they don't know the difference between serial and parallel or PS/2 and USB then it makes life a living hell for you. It took me nearly 45 minutes to help and EX hook up her new mouse, she called me cause it was a "rectangle" and there is no way to put it into the "circle", yet the nice green thing that fell out with it didn't make sense to her...After she realised that there was another place for the USB connector to go in after I told her several times what to look for, she said..."Oh, I found it...sorry I asked." Then a week later, her dad gets a scanner and I take over 2 hours trying to help him.
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2004
- Location
- T3h Intr@tub3z!
i understand all those all too well. The smarter the OS becomes, the dumber people get about the hardware.
I've deal with probably nearly all those situations, and am VERY sympathetic to it.
Just this week at work, a lady brought in a laptop and wanted me to fix it. She said "I was told it needed more video drive space. Can you upgrade the hardram and make it run faster?" I then asked her who told her this, and if there was anything else i could do for her (all the while keeping a straight face). She said "your boss said so, but I also have a problem that it won't turn on to Games correctly, and run the windows stuff". Once again, while keeping a straight face, I tell her "I'll check into for you ma'am. Have a nice day!". Then, to top it all off, her daughter (whose laptop it is) says to me: "Mister, can you please fix my modem fast? I want to play powerpoint on it, and some other games."
I just smiled, waved goodbye, and went into the back with the lappy. I nearly peed myself laughing.
I've deal with probably nearly all those situations, and am VERY sympathetic to it.
Just this week at work, a lady brought in a laptop and wanted me to fix it. She said "I was told it needed more video drive space. Can you upgrade the hardram and make it run faster?" I then asked her who told her this, and if there was anything else i could do for her (all the while keeping a straight face). She said "your boss said so, but I also have a problem that it won't turn on to Games correctly, and run the windows stuff". Once again, while keeping a straight face, I tell her "I'll check into for you ma'am. Have a nice day!". Then, to top it all off, her daughter (whose laptop it is) says to me: "Mister, can you please fix my modem fast? I want to play powerpoint on it, and some other games."
I just smiled, waved goodbye, and went into the back with the lappy. I nearly peed myself laughing.
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2001
- Location
- Augusta Twp, MI
I have learned just recently that you should never challenge or prove a professor wrong- even if you do it in a respectful way.
Just the other day, our professor was talking about that picture of the 1954 RAND PC prediction. I raised my hand and mentioned it was a fake. Another part of the class, he couldn't figure out why a program wasn't working on the lab computers, and I mentioned to him that we didn't have sufficient priveledges.
The guy must have held a grudge because later in class while I was waiting for my fellow students to get their computers booted up (and waiting for the professor to start telling us what we were supposed to do), I decided to open notepad and mess with a little html (other students were playing solitaire and pinball).
In every class that I have ever taken at that college, the instructors could care less what you do on the machines as long as it's not illegal or distracting. I'm in the back row... and notepad is hardly distracting or illegal- plus- the guy wasn't even teaching.
The professor walks all the way to my workstation (passing the other students that were pinballing and playing solitaire), and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING". I said "messing with HTML". He had this dead serious look on his face as if I was hacking the schools servers or something. He actually pulled me out of the class in front of everyone and chewed me a new one outside the door.
So I learned: let them be the professor in their own class, and let them have their inflated egos in their own world. Allow them to pass out the most rediculous garbage to students as facts. You can always laugh at it later. But don't challenge it at all. They will hold a grudge simply because they don't like the idea of a student that is below them possibly knowing something that they don't.
Just the other day, our professor was talking about that picture of the 1954 RAND PC prediction. I raised my hand and mentioned it was a fake. Another part of the class, he couldn't figure out why a program wasn't working on the lab computers, and I mentioned to him that we didn't have sufficient priveledges.
The guy must have held a grudge because later in class while I was waiting for my fellow students to get their computers booted up (and waiting for the professor to start telling us what we were supposed to do), I decided to open notepad and mess with a little html (other students were playing solitaire and pinball).
In every class that I have ever taken at that college, the instructors could care less what you do on the machines as long as it's not illegal or distracting. I'm in the back row... and notepad is hardly distracting or illegal- plus- the guy wasn't even teaching.
The professor walks all the way to my workstation (passing the other students that were pinballing and playing solitaire), and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING". I said "messing with HTML". He had this dead serious look on his face as if I was hacking the schools servers or something. He actually pulled me out of the class in front of everyone and chewed me a new one outside the door.
So I learned: let them be the professor in their own class, and let them have their inflated egos in their own world. Allow them to pass out the most rediculous garbage to students as facts. You can always laugh at it later. But don't challenge it at all. They will hold a grudge simply because they don't like the idea of a student that is below them possibly knowing something that they don't.
OP
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2003
- Thread Starter
- #31
diggingforgold said:
I know exactly where you're coming from! Last semester I had 3 classes & one of them was a complete moron & the other one was so old about the only thing he actually knew anything about was using punchcards for routines on ancient comps.
I wanted to drop everything all together but my 2nd semester is impressive & the teachers are in the field & know there stuff! Every teacher handles things in a different manner, but some tend to flip out when you know much more about the subject they are teaching or for that fact computers in general.
HTML though? It truly is a double standard now a days, if someone catches you doing something that all the other students are not doing "Most people are playing web games, watching music videos, surfing garbage webpages, etc" they go estatic with the OH NO HAXXORING IN NOTEPAD OMG!!?!1. Happened all the time to me in high school.
I tend to always challenge something if my point is valid or cold hard facts. I could care less if someone holds a grudge against me or not, especially a teacher. I am paying for my education right now, if I have a problem with a teacher they damn well better resolve it as I AM PAYING THERE SALARY & ANY DECENT TEACHER UNDERSTANDS THIS AS IT IS THERE JOB/LIFE.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2004
Here's some good ones,
My father in law,who is in a semi-rural area, is considered a PC guru of sorts among his peers. He is always asking me how does "this" work and such. I ask him "what is it"? He tell me. "Heck I don't know!" One time I asked him go to C:\Program Files, and he asked "were is that?" He got a good rebuke on that one. I told him to hit the power button and it will come up. Hey it worked!!
He has RAMBUS and he told me his 128megs is all his 1.3 Intel will take, it's not upgradable. No matter how I try and tell him his motherboard will support up to 1024 he don't believe me, cause his nearest shop tells him it won't. I even explained how RAMBUS works in pairs. I sent him to Compaq site to prove it, and his local shop tells him different from the Compaq site. So he will always have 128 megs of RAM.
He told me his local shop told him "any AMD processor won't run modern programs".
I can only imagine the rest of the populace of that area if he is a 'the local PC guru'...
One of my wifes co-workers asked me about a virus he had. I told him give me a sixpack of beer and I'll fix it for you, no big deal. He never took up the offer.
After 9 months he asked about removing a dialer he had, same thing but 12 pack this time. Never took up the offer.
The last time he asked me about a virus, I just told him. How much did that dialer cost you? He told me $400+ on his phone bill. It still(both malwarez) do there thing time to time. YYYYIKES!!!
He asked how do I get rid of it? I told him "do the world a favor and never turn your PC on agian". Get this he asked how do I do that? Usually, I am not that harsh, but he made my special list.
Many more stories but I will be kind!
My father in law,who is in a semi-rural area, is considered a PC guru of sorts among his peers. He is always asking me how does "this" work and such. I ask him "what is it"? He tell me. "Heck I don't know!" One time I asked him go to C:\Program Files, and he asked "were is that?" He got a good rebuke on that one. I told him to hit the power button and it will come up. Hey it worked!!
He has RAMBUS and he told me his 128megs is all his 1.3 Intel will take, it's not upgradable. No matter how I try and tell him his motherboard will support up to 1024 he don't believe me, cause his nearest shop tells him it won't. I even explained how RAMBUS works in pairs. I sent him to Compaq site to prove it, and his local shop tells him different from the Compaq site. So he will always have 128 megs of RAM.
He told me his local shop told him "any AMD processor won't run modern programs".
I can only imagine the rest of the populace of that area if he is a 'the local PC guru'...
One of my wifes co-workers asked me about a virus he had. I told him give me a sixpack of beer and I'll fix it for you, no big deal. He never took up the offer.
After 9 months he asked about removing a dialer he had, same thing but 12 pack this time. Never took up the offer.
The last time he asked me about a virus, I just told him. How much did that dialer cost you? He told me $400+ on his phone bill. It still(both malwarez) do there thing time to time. YYYYIKES!!!
He asked how do I get rid of it? I told him "do the world a favor and never turn your PC on agian". Get this he asked how do I do that? Usually, I am not that harsh, but he made my special list.
Many more stories but I will be kind!
OP
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2003
- Thread Starter
- #33
HAHA love the story Enablingwolf! My uncle had the "Porn Dialer mishap" happen to him too. Lowest of the low, the thing (If connected to a modem via phone line) calls up at random morning times when most people aren't on there comps "Never work with me" & stays on from 5 - 10 mins give or take.
At $10/min or more that is plenty to make a killing calling some remote island or country. It's not that he is a complete idiot, but he grew up only working on high end printing computers & little experience with normal one's. It can be a jungle that is for sure
At $10/min or more that is plenty to make a killing calling some remote island or country. It's not that he is a complete idiot, but he grew up only working on high end printing computers & little experience with normal one's. It can be a jungle that is for sure
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2004
He isn't the only person I knwo to get a dialer. One good freind of mine grabbed one on purpose. In a rare bout of letting my tounge go before the brain, I called him a <blank>'n idiot. Why did you download this on purpose I asked him. You know what his reply was....
They had good rates.
OMFG!!! I told him Bro, you just gave up your pc to someone you don't know. That is the lowest of the low of scumware. Dialers are really hard to get rid of, and they cost money too. It only cost him $200. He payed to call so he could use thier uninstaller. I still give the bro jabs on that one.
He has yet to see his PC run correctly. "Must be hardware" he says.
They had good rates.
OMFG!!! I told him Bro, you just gave up your pc to someone you don't know. That is the lowest of the low of scumware. Dialers are really hard to get rid of, and they cost money too. It only cost him $200. He payed to call so he could use thier uninstaller. I still give the bro jabs on that one.
He has yet to see his PC run correctly. "Must be hardware" he says.
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2004
LOL,
My father in law just got off IM with me. I found out he had no firewall and no active virus protection going for sometime now, "to save power". Of all things to turn off.... OF ALL THINGS!!!
Once I told him "<<<slaps hand and says HOT!!" He turned Norton 2003 back on and it showed alot of active infections going on. He imediatly followed my advice I always have given him. Hit the power button and correct the issue in safe mode.
"Saves power".. Now that has to be the absurdest thing!!
My father in law just got off IM with me. I found out he had no firewall and no active virus protection going for sometime now, "to save power". Of all things to turn off.... OF ALL THINGS!!!
Once I told him "<<<slaps hand and says HOT!!" He turned Norton 2003 back on and it showed alot of active infections going on. He imediatly followed my advice I always have given him. Hit the power button and correct the issue in safe mode.
"Saves power".. Now that has to be the absurdest thing!!
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2004
- Location
- Smoky Mountains, NC
Hey there is nothing wrong with wanting to save the rainforest or where ever his power comes from(gases). just messing, Thats very funny.
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2004
Not as funny as me telling him he was wearing a see through dress in front of the world.
- Joined
- May 23, 2001
- Location
- Asteroid B-612
If you think about it, a hardware router will use less electricity than a machine that is using most of it's resources to run viri.tenchi86 said:
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Location
- Phoenix. YOUR HAIR IS GOOD TO EAT
Aphex_Tom_9 said:
Me too, when I see computer furniture and it says "CPU shelf" I kind of just want to stab something in the face with a pole.
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2004
tom10167 said:
LMAO!
-Sam
