Absurd things people say about PC's

[Stupid Boy]

vi sucks
vi stands for "virtually impossible."
Notepad is good.
The terminal is bad (or some adjective like that -- useless, stupid, etc.).
----------
I know someone who deletes her emails from her computer because she's worried that she'll run out of space.
----------
All of my friends have disgusting computers full of spyware. They all either try to use these computers or just get new ones and say they can't do stuff because their computers are broken.
----------
How are you supposed to answer thse questions:
Do you have a PC or a Mac?
What type of computer do you have?
----------
There's this idiot who thinks he knows a lot about computers and is even in the computer club. Some things he has said:

You should get five-year-old computers because they're cheap.
Linux is bad because no programs support it.
Windoze is the best operating system.

He says stupid things every time I see him, but I have a horrible memory. I'll post some after I seem him again or when I remember some.

 

[ONE]

I arrived at a persons home and noticed they had a Geeks On Call tech @ their computer, he quickly diagnosed the problem and informed her that she had a virus.
He then informed her that "the only way to get rid of it is to reformat your hard drive".
She replied "will I loose all of my files because we have a lot of stuff on it that we cant afford to loose".
He said "everything will be fine....I will just save your my documents folder to a disk" and he went to work...

 

[Brundle Fly]

My wife's system is a nightmare, and she refuses to run any anti-spyware, no pop-up blockers, she only let's me install an AVP, and that's reluctantly. She hits all kinds of online gambling sites, game sites, neopets, the list goes on, and says she needs the pop-ups to play the games.

I've tried explaining that Firefox will stop all but the ones she absolutely needs, but once again, she doesn't listen, Internet Exploder all the way, spyware out the ying/yang. Her system was messed beyond a useable state on Friday, I was hoping it was a hardware problem, the mouse worked when it felt like it, the KB lost and then found keys again, then the mouse started swapping the right and left buttons, I found it all kinda amusing, had the old "I told you so" smile on my face as she loudly told the computer what she thought its sexual habits and what the marital status of it's "parents" was(she must have a trucker in her family).

Once again, a format and a fresh install of XP was the only cure, no cleaning solved anything, I never seen so much garbage on a computer. Of course, it's all stuff she can't live without, there'd be no point having a computer without weather being updated every 3 minutes in the tray. Man, I just don't get it, then she complains about how slow her system is. Yeah, her system before the format, no browser windows open, 49 processes running. I showed her mine, 6 Firefox windows, Thunderbird, MBM, Pest Patrol, Spy Bot, nVidia control, EZTrust AVP, and only 29 processes running.

I'll do it all again in a month and a half or so. It's better in the summer, we're outside more, so her computer isn't on as much, heh.

 

[ONE]

How many times have you tried explaining to people that the niffty little programs that they downloaded and think they cant live without is the cause of their computer moving @ snails pace.
Oh yea try telling them that the Gator, weather bug, free swimming fishies, browser companions that hijack their hompage and pump in tons of adware has to go.

Do you really want to use your computer or do you want to get weather updates every 3 seconds while viewing pop ups only to give up and then watch the fishes swim in slow motion?

 

[Aphex_Tom_9]

How many times have you tried explaining to people that the niffty little programs that they downloaded and think they cant live without is the cause of their computer moving @ snails pace.
Oh yea try telling them that the Gator, weather bug, free swimming fishies, browser companions that hijack their hompage and pump in tons of adware has to go.

Do you really want to use your computer or do you want to get weather updates every 3 seconds while viewing pop ups only to give up and then watch the fishes swim in slow motion?

god i cant stand using other people's comps when they have all that crap...my system is so clean compared...

 

[ONE]

I like to ask them "do you enjoy being able to go to the fridge and get a snack before a page can load"

1

 

[Stupid Boy]

I arrived at a persons home and noticed they had a Geeks On Call tech @ their computer, he quickly diagnosed the problem and informed her that she had a virus.
He then informed her that "the only way to get rid of it is to reformat your hard drive".
She replied "will I loose all of my files because we have a lot of stuff on it that we cant afford to loose".
He said "everything will be fine....I will just save your my documents folder to a disk" and he went to work...

I understand that some program like ClamWin should be able to remove the virus, but I don't understand what makes the last two lines absurd.

 

[tenchi86]

I just remembered this. My mom used yahoo for a few months and I reinstalled windows, she got all worried and asked me if her emails were deleted. (she is a fast learner though I will give her that)

 

[ONE]

I understand that some program like ClamWin should be able to remove the virus, but I don't understand what makes the last two lines absurd.

If someone told me that they had things that they couldn't afford to loose, I would aks a few questions and have a closer look before simply saving the my documents to a disk.......

 

[Aphex_Tom_9]

I just remembered this. My mom used yahoo for a few months and I reinstalled windows, she got all worried and asked me if her emails were deleted. (she is a fast learner though I will give her that)

that's an acceptably common mistake.

 

[Tazon]

i preffer to keep dumb people uneducated about PCs. my mom doesn't even know her PC is running Antivirus and Spyware control. she also thinks her emails take up space. she thinks every CD drive can write CDs and that every CD is writable (inherited from diskette drives)

 

[musawi]

I HATE it when people call the tower the CPU. I just don't talk.

Stupidity amazes me!

 

[tenchi86]

That dosnt bother me. I grew up with people calling a PC the cpu being stupid, so I just got used to it. Not like I am letting them on my pc, and not like I want to try and correct them and act like I am a brainy ack or just a (not nice word here) hole.

 

[Aphex_Tom_9]

another thing i dont like, i dunno if you've heard of it but people say "x out of ___" in reference to closing a program. like "okay, now x out of the internet..."
i hate that

 

[Stupid Boy]

another thing i dont like, i dunno if you've heard of it but people say "x out of ___" in reference to closing a program. like "okay, now x out of the internet..."
i hate that

I find it helpful to say that when people don't know how to close programs.

Here's one that I heard today at school:

Friend (not the idiot): Linux sucks.
Me: Have you used it?
Friend: No
(I left.)

 

[sterVin]

another thing i dont like, i dunno if you've heard of it but people say "x out of ___" in reference to closing a program. like "okay, now x out of the internet..."
i hate that

kinda O.T., but I use that a lot. not to fellow computer nerds, but my other (less computer "friendly") friends. One of my friends got all worked up over this thing on the net and she started complaining about it to me. well, I made up this story about the "magic X" and how it made things that werent liked "magicly disappear." Not my finest moment, but whatever.

I hate people who dont know which OS they are using. I was talking to this girl on AIM about her computer problems a while ago (before I truly became computer knowledgable). My first question was what her OS was. her response was "iono", of course. So I asked if she had an apple or not (I wasnt going to go into hakor searches for information), and I am sure you can guess the response. So I asked her to restart the computer and tell me if she saw a picture of an apple and the word "mac" or "macintosh" or the word "windows." Well, she logged on like 5 minutes later and I asked her what she saw. Turnes out she went to the fridge while the comp was restarting and never saw anything. I just logged off and went for a bike ride.

 

[DanFraser]

This is a classic for me. I used to work on a tech helpline for the biggest ISP in the UK. Me and another tech savvy guy were chatting to our possible future product specialist. A PS is the tech guy of the team, and the team leader is mostly just there for admin stuff, of that team. Several teams of course. Well, during this conversation, and it didn't take long to get to this, the PS hopeful says, 'Defragging fixes all computer problems'....

My mate, and a few others who overheard it laughed so hard, whilst I just stood there gobsmacked (literally).

He never got the position.

 

[Stupid Boy]

This is a classic for me. I used to work on a tech helpline for the biggest ISP in the UK. Me and another tech savvy guy were chatting to our possible future product specialist. A PS is the tech guy of the team, and the team leader is mostly just there for admin stuff, of that team. Several teams of course. Well, during this conversation, and it didn't take long to get to this, the PS hopeful says, 'Defragging fixes all computer problems'....

My mate, and a few others who overheard it laughed so hard, whilst I just stood there gobsmacked (literally).

He never got the position.

That reminds me of a few others.

I was working for a person who has an IT company and uses Windoze for everything. He had me set up a Linux system, and he told me that I should defrag it before I backed it up with Norton Ghost. The problem is that there is no tool to defrag an ext3 filesystem because it does not get fragmented.

 

[k3nshin]

I HATE it when people call the tower the CPU. I just don't talk.

Stupidity amazes me!

i ahte it even worse when they call it a hard drive.....


there was a poster on the wall in a computer apps class that i was in that called the tower the cpu it made me giggle everyday

 

[PhoenixMDM]

People calling the tower/case/computer anything like CPU, hard drive, etc.
People calling the monitor the computer (i've noticed this happens alot less due to LCD's!)

People working in computer stores when they have no idea what they're talking about.
People telling me I don't know anything when I'm talking about spyware issues, cooling, or linux, especially when followed by stupid things like "but i LIKE bonzi buddy!" "air cooling makes the computer faster than watercooling, otherwise dell would sell watercooled ones!" or "linux is AWFUL for servers, nobody ever uses it anymore!"

Today in the school library, I saw a kid getting yelled at for reading his email while the kid next to him installed AIM. The school has a strict don't-install-stuff policy, and to enforce it they put DeepFreeze on them. And of course, I'm sitting there with a google search for "rainbow tables theory" which brinks up lots of "BREAK PASSWORD" kind of sites as you go through the results, and the librarian comes over and asks to borrow my pen, and asks if she can help me look up stuff for my "research paper on those evil hackers!" I just find it ironic that she coulda been accidentally helping me break into some systems if I did let her help me look up stuff.... (no, i'm not doing any research papers right now, and i'm not hacking anything. i'm just into crypo lately!)