Stupid things that Computer Know-Nothings say.

[darkknight187]

lol last night while hooking my aunt up with wifi at their place after getting it all in working order (my first wifi experience) i was down stairs and my grandma/grandpa asked if things like the clouds, rainstorms or whatnot would affect their wifi reception (indoors) as i would imagine that if they were to be outdoors they probably couldnt go as far as the could on a sunny day and not just because rain and whatnot sucks

 

[squasher]

My mom could not use my comp. all day because she could not figure out how to open fire-fox without closing word.
I had to show her the start menu and the minimise button.

 

[fazz33]

Ahh i got one this is from one of my family members. One day my aunt and uncle apporach me and then ask me how much it would cost to buy a new "hard drive". Me think they meant an actual hard drive went to a web site and pick them out a 40gb one. When pointed to it and asked it this was ok their like "Umm no we want a hard drive" i jus ask "ok...what do u mean by that this is a hard drive" my uncle points to his PC " and says "Geez kids these day..."
Well at that point i got angry but still i tried to explain what a harddrive was, ten minuites later he still doesnt get it and insists im wrong...In the end i just gave up and let then live their bubble...

Dont you hate it when ppl use random computer parts to represent a computer as a whole? the most common i hear and try to correct are "Harddrive, moniter, and CPU" anyone hear any other ones?

 

[Gnufsh]

Dont you hate it when ppl use random computer parts to represent a computer as a whole? the most common i hear and try to correct are "Harddrive, moniter, and CPU" anyone hear any other ones?

Modem.

 

[Paradoxmaker]

My stories are about my wife. She kept throwing fits about her computer being to slow and bogging down all the time. After running virus scan and spyware detectors several times to eliminate the 600+ infections she had i allow her to use it again. Well within days her comp is just as infected as before. This goes on for about 2 more cycles of clean/infect/clean/infect. Well I finally got sick of it so I just wiped it all out and started form scratch. In the middle of doing the reinstall she asks to use my computer to check her email.
My computer is clean mind you, I let her on it for less than 10 min and had over 200 infections. Immediantly i'm screaming at her about where did she go on the net ot get so many on my computer so fast. Well her answer was all she did was go to friends websites.
This launches into a tyrade from me about watching out for spyware, not clicking popups and not downloading unknow attachments (I have this problem with her at least once every few months).

Her response back was "Why would my friends put spyware and viruses onn there website." and then of cource she procedes to tell me about one friend that has been complaining that her site HAS been crashing alot lately.


The second is also related to a computer slowdown. Her computer is a 2ghz Celeron Emachine with 384mg of ram. She plays around alot with photoshop on our home pics. Well she had this 1 pic in particular that was making her mental. Every time she opened it up it took for ever to open, slowed everything down to a crawl and crashed the computer couple of times. Well after a few hours of her whining about it I finally took a look. I pulled up the task manager and couldn't belive it showed 1185mb of memory being used. I was like HOLY CRAP what are you doing. After a little digging I found out the pic she started with was 500kb, she did not change the size or resolution but had managed to make it over 800mb in size. When I asked her what she did to make it so huge, the response was typical......

You ready for it?????


"Nothing"

 

[subtotal]

lol last night while hooking my aunt up with wifi at their place after getting it all in working order (my first wifi experience) i was down stairs and my grandma/grandpa asked if things like the clouds, rainstorms or whatnot would affect their wifi reception (indoors) as i would imagine that if they were to be outdoors they probably couldnt go as far as the could on a sunny day and not just because rain and whatnot sucks

we were going to get wifi at my house but i never managed to convince my dad that you don't need an isp for wifi

 

[Timdog]

Ahh i got one this is from one of my family members. One day my aunt and uncle apporach me and then ask me how much it would cost to buy a new "hard drive". Me think they meant an actual hard drive went to a web site and pick them out a 40gb one. When pointed to it and asked it this was ok their like "Umm no we want a hard drive" i jus ask "ok...what do u mean by that this is a hard drive" my uncle points to his PC " and says "Geez kids these day..."
Well at that point i got angry but still i tried to explain what a harddrive was, ten minuites later he still doesnt get it and insists im wrong...In the end i just gave up and let then live their bubble...

Dont you hate it when ppl use random computer parts to represent a computer as a whole? the most common i hear and try to correct are "Harddrive, moniter, and CPU" anyone hear any other ones?

I don't like these people the most. They insist that they know more about computers. Usually I just whip out the old "Well, I built a computer when I was 11 and have been building them for the past 4 years. I think I know what I'm doing." That usually shuts them up.

 

[Athlonight]

will upgrading from windows 98 speed up my computer?

 

[garste]

Some old guy at circuit city asking the salesman how to work the mouse. 5 years ago. Me.

 

[Athlonight]

Super Fast Pentium 2 System for sale!

 

[ghettocomp]

will upgrading from windows 98 speed up my computer?

Same thing from one of the wifes friends, after seeing my comps. Except it was from Windows 3.1

 

[RJARRRPCGP]

I HATE IT when people call their entire computer unit the hard drive!!!

I also get annoyed when they call the entire computer unit, including the case the CPU!

 

[Timdog]

I get the modem thing a lot. One guy in my Comp Apps class likes to call the computer a modem just to get me mad.

 

[ghettocomp]

I get the modem thing a lot. One guy in my Comp Apps class likes to call the computer a modem just to get me mad.

Had one Joker in one of my classes like that, but did it to infuriate the instructor. Only thing that saved him was that he actually had the hightest grades.

 

[orionlion82]

got another one...
cleaned all the nasties out of a friends computer....well, allmost...

once i opened up stuff like services.msc, and did a regedit after all the cleaner proggies ran -she freaked and said i was "hacking her computer" and demanded i stop...

her brother is the " good computer guy" and "built it for her"
it was pretty much the cheapest dell sold in the last year or so...
she wanted "someone who she can trust"
because "he knows all about those things, and youre doing too much, and putting too much on my computer"
tried to explain "run (the usual nastie cleaners) from flashdrive versus install" but of course, no joy...

you decide:

XP-SP1. totally wide open. no firewalls, no antivirus, no security programs at all.
it hadnt been uptated EVER.
not even a post-it note on the monitor saying "no viruses allowed" - zip. nada.

gave her the standard internet security lecture -

" no, youre wrong, that stuff takes up too much space, and makes it slow - my brother said if i was only surfing the net and checking e-mail and typing papers it was not important, and that stuff costs a whole lot too"

"you asked me to help you with the popups and your computer crashing all the time, take it or leave it"

"cant you just delete the popups for me? i dont want anything else..."

i can usually communicate this stuff perfectly well to other people, she was just....on a different wavelength....
her loss...

i talked to her last night, and she "stopped using it" and "was going to buy a new one without all the popups"

spent nearly two hours on it, and she is the reason i dont help people anymore without a service agreement....

 

[I.M.O.G.]

"I apologize, I'm not a computer person but... " Then goes on to explain the problem they are having.

When was the last time someone apologized for not being an accountant. Just give me the problem you are having and the information I ask for, and allow me to sort it out. I do not need your apology, and I can tell from the way you talk what your level of understanding is, so I will adjust my language appropriately. Please don't waste my time apologizing to me though.

@Orionlion: I would have told her that's fine and told her how much she owed me - once she got the charge, perhaps the fee would help her understand the value associated with my assistance. I have never run into anyone who I cannot rationalize with, or atleast convince that I am the expert and just trust me. I would have definelty left a business card with her though, and told her I'd be happy to properly assist her if she would like the help the next time the problem returned.

 

[threeme2189]

man this is a good thread and i dont believe it died...

 

[nahmus]

man this is a good thread and i dont believe it died...

ya espcally since there are so many more stupid comments out there.

Back when they were making GF4 mx's I got into a "disagreement" with a tech from CompUsa. He was telling me that a GF4MX was the same and a non MX version. He also told me that a Celeron processor would run games just as well as a regular P4. After a few tries explaining why he was wrong (using the wording on the vid boxes as backup ) he was still 100% sure he was right. I gave up and thanked him. I told him people like him keep people like me in business.

 

[darkknight187]

"I apologize, I'm not a computer person but... " Then goes on to explain the problem they are having.

thats so true yet so sad...

actually reminds me of the day i stopped in at a persons house to give him something he needed and then his grandmother starts going on about how she got this new mouse and now her computer freezes and whatnot this and that about the mouses drivers and about halfway through her completely computer illeterate speaking including saying things like people who play this online game with me say wireless optical mice are so much better for the game ect... she starts informing me that this mouse is one of those compact portable mice (normally for lappys) and how because of this she DOESNT EVEN ACTUALLY LIKE THE MOUSE and keeps wondering if she should just take it back as it was a gift and wasnt even what she wanted....

i just wanted to say you old fool you shouldnt have even cracked the package open to begin with but it's not working for you now and you don't like it so JUST TAKE IT BACK

 

[gvblake22]

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/ <=Great stuff
Tech Support: "Look to the right of the keyboard. There should be something like a little box with buttons on it and a wire going to the back of your computer."
Customer: "Ok, now what?"
Tech Support: "Move it around."
Customer: "The arrow moved!"

Wow, so good. I've heard too many things to be able to repeat them all. LOL

What a great thread!