RIP 500E

I didn’t want to burden my friends here at Overclockers with the announcement of my 500 E chip’s demise. But now the truth can be known. My Chip died last Friday. Services were held all week long. I called upon Joe who gave the eulogy, and offered the following advice to the living: Call Intel and have them do a post mortum. I said I would.

I shipped the body Via (not the chip set) UPS over night and went to bed with a heavy, heavy heart. Then (three days later) this morning I was awakened by the bell. UPS was at my door. When I answered and signed for the package, I was cursing to myself. I MUST have screwed up and sent it to myself…. again (I’m prone to such stupidity). I looked at the package, yep, same box I sent it in. I stumbled away from the door, looking for my specks…couldn’t find them, when clawing though my desk draw looking for my magnifying glass.

I peered lopsidedly at the address. I turned the box over ten times before I found it: It was addressed to me. I knew it! But wait – it would be wouldn’t it? I mean, I just got it, didn’t I? (Hey I’m just not a morning person and the last few days had taken their toll.) I snatched up my pocket knife and cut though the scotch tape….( can you feel the suspense building….If I’m telling this right you should have one hand on each side of your monitor yelling something like “Cut the crap Edgar and tell us what was in the #$@^*# box”… or, maybe not.)

There it lay (could it be just a coincidence that it was just THREE DAYS after I sent it off for interment, maybe so, and yet…) It was the same box but now it was freshly covered in cellophane, a completely new 500E… I did a flip-chip right there in my little office!!! After a funeral and a third day resurrection I’m forced to review the lessons of this life. I admit I’m not really comfortable cozying up to Intel….and yet. Intel never asked me any potentially embarrassing questions, though they might have…..Intel shipped me a brand new chip, OVERNIGHT!

You know in the movie Blade Runner where Harrison Ford is hanging off the top story of an enormously high building and Rutger Hauger (the guy Harrison has been hunting and trying to kill the whole movie) slowly pulls him up to safety. Then Rutger (who plays a synthetic human being, with real emotions) makes that great speech about a fleeting life being as “teardrops in the rain”? Then dies at the predetermined moment.

Which leaves Harrision (a real human being with synthetic feelings) to philosophical speculation and a general mood of feeling PRETTY CRAPPY about himself? Talk about mixed emotions! Somebody buy me a drink.

Daniel Edgar

Joe: Who says Intel doesn’t have a heart?

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